What makes you a sissy?

This is something I wrote in another forum and wanted to share it with my xhamster friends.

Again, not so different than the other stuff I've written, and perhaps boring and redundant, but sometimes saying it another, maybe different way, is more readable.

This was in response to a question -- What makes you a sissy?
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What makes me a sissy? Well, we are all different, thank goodness, but for me it was a long, slow process of elimination because of the way I ended up preferring having sex.

The first time a cock parted my lips, then I pleased him enough to cum in my mouth, I felt like I must have a different sexuality than the man whose cock was enjoying my mouth! Especially since I was loving sucking him as much as he was loving me sucking him! Maybe it was because I had always been so str8, but I equated sucking a dick with something only girls "should" do. It's hard to explain, but having a cock floating in its own cum in my mouth just didn't feel like ... ummm ... the most masculine thing I'd ever done, whereas I knew HE was feeling VERY masculine! Just a very strange, yet super interesting feeling I had never felt before.

I know a lot of gay men that would bristle at this, thinking they weren't sexually men, but remember, I am being honest and sharing how I felt in that I didn't feel very manly with a spent dick in my mouth! It is TOTALLY Ok with me that some guys don't feel like I do! And they feel no less manly taking cock and cum -- it just doesn't compute for me. The plug in the hardware store with the prongs is the male plug and the one with the holes is the female plug and my holes were being used in sex, so, for me, it only followed that I didn't feel very much like the "male plug". Also, at the same time, I was VERY happy I had pleased a REAL man the way I had! I will never forget how good I felt pleasing a man like that!

That feeling was magnified a million times, when I sucked him hard again and this same man's cock later also slipped between my little buttcheeks and he fucked and bred me EXACTLY like a man fucks pussy! It even felt like I had a wet cum filled pussy!

Talk about the ultimate surrender of every last ounce of my masculinity! I truly felt I knew exactly how a woman must feel! The man even told me I was good pussy! That is certainly a compliment I never thought I'd hear and my mind was so fried, I didn't know whether to be happy or humiliated having a man say such a thing to me! It was a bit of both, but mainly happy for some damn reason!

Yes, that was also humiliating beyond belief, but for some reason, I loved the feeling and wanted to show him my appreciation and please him more and I sucked him hard again and you guessed it, he bred me again! I had really and truly made a man cum THREE times! I MUST be pretty good at pleasing a man! And I sure loved pleasing him! It was so weird -- my own dick had always previously been the "center of my sexual universe" and I hadn't even used it! But THE man in the room sure used HIS! Yet, I felt like it was some of the best sex I had EVER had! Just call my mind blown!

I tried to resist and for almost 3-yrs played the role of a regular, everyday hetero guy and enjoyed pussy.

Gosh, it is way too long a story explaining everything, but eventually I tried cock #2 and dammit, loved it too. Then another year went by for cock #3, then discovered the internet and time between cocks went from years to months to weeks and I had to finally decide, I was, at the very least, bi.

Then after 6 or 7 men, who, btw, I almost ALWAYS ended up on my knees or bent over with them, I met my first longterm sex bud, named Mike (who I also refer to as Daddy1) of almost FIVE years, before he transferred to another state. He lived very close to me and we played often.

As it turns out, he was a TOTAL top and he later made me admit to being a total bottom, which I had resisted labeling myself as such, because it sounded too "gay" for my former str8 brain to admit to. That was actually a big hurdle for me to get over mentally, but had become all but impossible to deny.

Fast forward a few years and I arrived at Mike's place and he told me he had a surprise for me! I had never been given a gift by a man and I haveta admit, that alone made me feel kinda gurly.

Mike led me to the bedroom and there laid out on the bed was bra & panties and a pair of thigh high hose! I was totally aghast and I bet the look on my face was priceless!

I said something to the effect, "There is no way in hell I am putting on that stuff! I am not a girl nor am I a sissy!"

Mike just chuckled, I think fully expecting my reaction and said, "I am very clear you are not female. You wouldn't be here if you were. I actually think you've been better than the girls I have dated and why I don't so much anymore, because of you! You satisfy me as well as girls do, doing pretty much the same things they do, except better! And there's no begging for it because you are always just as horny for my cock and cum as I am in giving it to you!"

I was standing there with my mouth agage, not quite believing what I was hearing and stuttered a "But ... but ... but ..."

"I'm not finished yet. Just listen. I am also very clear you are not very effeminate looking or acting, nor are you smooth like a girl. In fact, if someone saw you 'just' naked, they might mistake you for a real man, but we both know better than that, now don't we? You just have sex like a girl and you are good at it and I damn sure love that you are! And clearly since you keep coming back for more, you love it too. Since you have sex like a girl, don't you think you should wear things that properly reflects that? When someone sees you in panties and whatnot, don't you think it immediately communicates to yourself and more importantly, him what your sexual role is going to be? So, you aren't a real girl nor do you have sex like a real man, what does that leave?"

One very important side note here. Mike was in a robe and the front side of his robe was beginning to tent BIG time and I felt myself really beginning to want him and his cock. You gurls know how that lust works and how you suddenly feel like you'd do anything for him and his cock!

The other thing was that his logic seemed impeccable at the moment and I couldn't find an argument to dispute it, yet at the same time, my brain was so scrambled from all this and the thinking I had always had that if there was anything worse than a faggot, it was a sissy faggot, I didn't know what to do or say!

Before I could mount an argument as to how I wasn't a smooth, effeminate, SWISHY sissy and should never be caught dead in panties, etc., he sold the deal.

"Tell you what, do this for me this one time and if I don't make you happy you did, you never have to do it again! You know I won't think less of you and let's just have fun with it! I know you like pleasing me and it would please me greatly!"

With that his robe fell open and I was looking at his gorgeous cock hard as a rock!

I very sheepishly just quietly said, "Ok" and sat on the edge of the bed, disrobed, slid those lace panties on, rolled those thigh high hose up over my moderately hairy legs, which I later adopted as part of my "uniform" because I was not in a position to ever shave my legs and Mike helped fasten my bra. Even after all these years, those words I just wrote of "Mike helped fasten my bra" just seem so strange! Certainly at one point in my life, I would have bet a bazillion dollars against me every doing or saying stuff like that!!

I'm not sure I have ever felt more embarrassed and humilated wondering how I, Mr former butch athletic guy, was standing in front of a real man dressed as a sissy!

Mike had me turn around a few times and simply said, "Outstanding! Very hot!"

And I believed him because I don't think I had EVER seen his cock grow so big! I thought to myself, "Sooo, this is why women wear sexy things!" beginning to think and understand how girls think as they do! It actually made me very happy I was turning him on so much!

Well, to make a very long story a tad shorter, I did it and HE did it! Make me very happy I did, that is and I never balked again! On the contrary, I suddenly looked forward to seeing what sexy things Mike bought for me, to wear for him next!

One image is burned into my brain. Mike had some sliding closet doors by his bed that were fully mirrored. And I will never forget seeing myself, dressed as I was, seeing his manhood (that was so much larger than mine, and mine's not tiny, I always felt like a little boy next to a grown man!) disappearing in and out of my little ass! It looked like a man fucking a flat-chested, short-hair girl! And I was that girl! There was VERY clearly only one real man in the room and it darn sure wasn't me! But, I was so totally loving it too! To this day, I still don't feel like I can adequately describe the feeling of so surrendering my masculinity to another man to enhance HIS! It felt as each thrust was showing me how much of a real man HE is, while silmutaneously proving how much I wasn't! Each thrust just seemed like it was fucking every last residual bit of masculinity from me and that I SHOULD be dressed as I was!

One other VERY important factor. Safe sex had now become an issue in society and we had always fucked with condoms. We had both tested and had discussed doing away with rubbers anyway. I had swallowed countless loads, but never had he inseminated and bred me, but he did this time because he wanted me to get the full experience and it worked!

Wearing bra, panties and hose and had a wet pussy to boot! Tell me how any male can feel very manly right then! I never felt less a man and more a gurl, pussyboy and yes, a sissy in my entire life!

Labels are limiting, but if you don't perform sexually as a real man is supposed to and you aren't a real girl, what are you?

I discovered, with Mike's help, there is a third option and that males like me have been around since the beginning of time and will always be around. Males whose sexual wiring is crossed and love pleasing men like what most folks thing girls should and I wear panties, etc. to reflect that fact and because it makes my man's cock hard.

I am very happily male and love everything about being a guy, except the sex part. I don't want to become a girl or have any operations or even have to dress 24/7 (maybe a long weekend though!) and put up with all the BS real girls do ... I just want to please men sexually like girls do! And I love the enlightened men that understand me and even treat me as a gurl -- in the sexual sense.

I'm not even sure I could be called a hardcore crossdresser because I rarely dress just to dress. And whether I am dressed or not, I still always find myself happily on my knees sucking dick and/or having men enjoy my little bottom like they would pussy!

You've never lived until you've heard, "You couldn't be better pussy if you had a vagina!" And if I have to wear panties to please them all the more, then I certainly WILL because it DOES reflect that I love sucking cock, swallowing cum and being fucked identically to how men fuck girls.

One last note -- I became like a malegurlfriend to Mike for a little over a year before he moved. He explained I was a GUy-GiRL or gurl or what some folks refer to as being a sissy, but that I was a different kind of sissy in that I was more a "tomboy" sissy, not very effeminate nor swishy nor smooth. He even liked the fact that when I sucked him during football games, while in panties and whatnot, I knew as much about football as he did!

He also gave me my yahoo screen moniker of " dfw butch sissy jock", which I am very clear sounds like an oxymoron, but fits me to a T, because I am a former athlete and jock and more butch than effeminate, yet clearly, Mike was also correct in showing me I am much closer to being a sissy sexually than I am a real man or real woman in the SEX dept.

I agree, it's nice when sissies can be smooth and effeminate, but I'm not and probably never will be.

But, I certainly identify with you sissies and even understand us relabeling our male parts in fem terms -- I have a sissy dick clittie and sissy pussy in my panties too and I haven't had sex like a real man is supposed to in forever! Those labels are based more on FUNCTION and our sexual role as gurls. I certainly always feel there is only one real man and one real cock in the room and it isn't me or mine! I don't think I can label myself as anything but a sissy or gurl or pussyboy or whatever label one wishes for a male that enjoys pleasing men with her mouth and her sissy pussy and totally understand how wearing panties, et al, reflects that FACT.

So leave room for us "butch" gurls too, because I bet we can please men every bit as well as the sissy who has removed all her body hair! Besides, some men like the "French woman look" and don't mind it!

Remember, each to their own and different strokes for different folks. It's takes all kinds to make up this old world.