| 2014-08-01 06:38:32 |
My Gorgeous Cousin Bailey — Part 2
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Good story, but yes, proof reading is a must. Also a few spelling and grammatical errors. So proof reading will fix that. Other than that, it was pretty good. |
| 2014-09-10 19:33:10 |
Prom Night_(3)
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There were a lot of grammatical and spelling errors, it was hard to follow and it was too jumpy. You need to work on your writing skills and you really need to captivate your readers. In this genre you need to make it interesting but get to the point. Sexual Interactions. That's the point. You need to be more descriptive in your writing, especially when it gets to the sexual parts. Try not to use so much slang, it makes you sound sloppy. There are certain things you can leave out, and try to leave narration out of the sexual parts. There is a time and place for all of that, but during intercourse IS NOT THAT TIME. This was a less than mediocre story, and I wish you better luck on your next story, if there is one. However, I do agree with a previous comment, you are not a writer. Feel free to read others for ideas on how to write and ask a knowledgeable friend for help. Good luck. |
| 2014-08-29 16:41:42 |
Truth or Dare [Formerly known as My Next Door Neighbor) (Part 1)
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This is the author. Please comment on why you liked or didn't like this story. I really would love feedback! Thanks guys! |
| 2014-09-10 21:58:54 |
I Like to Watch Boys Masturbate Pt2
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Fantastic! I loved it! Now on to part 3.... :) |
| 2014-09-10 23:26:58 |
Girls at my work (Part 2)
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We gotta get some positive ratings to get this up. Thanks and please comment PROPERLY! Thank you. |