Putting the finger on the "it" of my li

It took about forever, but I finally figured out why I am the way I am, and why I haven't been able to keep a job ever. And when I tell you please try to keep a grain of salt handy to throw in or whatever the metaphor is, because it will sound very conceited. The reason I have never fit in any where is because I was told at an early age that I can be anything I want to be, and I was dumb enough to fall for it. Human life on earth isn't bout being what you want. it's about fitting in, and I can't because I don't think like any one else I have ever known. I have lived in Alabama all fifty years of my life, and this state prides itself on being the most stereotypical, and stigma enforcing state in the union. The acting Governor is seething that she didn't think of that "don't say gay" thing first. It shows how much she's slipping in her old age.

I didn't fully know myself when I met the love of my life and plunged into domestication. I love my wife and k**s with all my heart, but I also love to dress in heels and lingerie those two elements have interference. If i call it a higher intelligence then it sounds arrogant but that's really what it is. I know that I don't need to follow any kind of rule of life, except what Christians call the golden rule. Two things are happening here, one is that you, as a person doesn't need to be a Christian, or any religion to be a good person, and being a religious person doesn't guarantee that you are good as a person, just look at baptist ministers. And two, that the Christian church made an every day common sense thing and gold plated it so that it is some ultra precious crown of knowledge that can only be gotten through confession and groveling to an imaginary entity. They tell you your a sinner. I know in my heart that I am not because I don't spend my days transgressing against any one. I don't steal or lie or even think of doing it to any one so I don't believe that bull shit. I spend every waking moment of my life on earth trying to provide for my family, and if that's a sin in a religion, then that is a religion that I can not follow because that makes no sense to me as a person. I have humility, and I have love of life, and I don't need to be punished to believe in a God.

I have seen about a thousand profiles of what appear to be an old man in a wig and panty hose and yet they call themselves a mtf transgender. And I have seen countless profiles of dudes telling me that they are sissy sluts and need to be fucked. I also enjoy anal pleasuring, but I don't consider myself "gay". And I will never understand the fingers in the mouth, it has almost turned me off to straight porn entirely. And to all the dudes out there who watch ONLY straight porn, you are still looking at a dick so don't be self righteous. The stereotype exists but you don't have to adhere to it. You don't have to identify as what you think will be accepted. You have to be yourself. And love yourself.