Bob drew his collar further up and closer to his neck as he walked briskly from his car to the front entrance of the funeral home. His 27-year-old cousin, Jade Goody ‘the Z-list reality TV ‘celeb’ and the bitch he had always detested, had died of cancer just 48 hours earlier. Given the balmy temperature outside, and the notoriously spiteful attitude shown by Jade towards him, Bob could almost believe she had timed her death to occur during the most wretched and inconvenient weather of the year. Shaking his head in disgust, Bob pulled open one of the heavy wooden double doors and stepped into a quiet, dimly lit vestibule. At least the premises were well-heated, he thought to himself as he tugged the gloves off of his fingers.
After a few moments, Bob realized that the atmosphere was a bit too quiet, even for a mortuary. "Wonderful," he grumbled to himself. "These sentimental relatives and in-laws of mine fuss up a storm to get me down here, then the fuckers can't even show up on time themselves!" What with his rising blood pressure, the heat which had only a minute before seemed comforting now began to feel stifling. Bob removed his overcoat and hung it on a nearby, heavy wooden coat rack. Paying 'respects' to someone he never could stand was irritating enough without the rest of the flock being late on top of it. "Well, I'm here now," he muttered to himself with a low, fatigued sigh. "Might as well go see how the little slut looks with her mouth shut for a change."
Bob slowly walked through the archway leading to the darkened funeral chapel. The only lights in the entire room were over the casket and the floral displays all the way at the back of the room. Bob stepped past the guest book stand and down the aisle towards the coffin. Empty chairs lined the room on either side, and the customary couch for the family was located about 10 feet from the side of the deceased. All things considered, Jade didn't look all that bad; in fact, she looked better than she had most days during her wretched life. Her eyelids and lips both gave off the telltale 'waxy' look so common with prepared cadavers. Bob had to chuckle to himself as he looked down at the blue, lace-trimmed dress she was wearing. It was the same dress the bitch had worn to her prom, back when she was dating Joe, or Joel, or whatever in the hell that prick's name was. Staring at her slightly-showing cleavage, Bob remembered how hot she had looked the night of her prom, with the tops of her titties poking through the low-cut dress, and the tight back end of the dress looking as though it had been painted on her round, heart-shaped little ass. True, she was a despicable cunt, but her frame always had all the right curves in all the right places.
Almost without thinking, Bob stretched out his arm and swept his hand across her firm right breast. Within an instant, however, he quickly withdrew it, wondering what had possessed him to do such a sleazy, unnatural act. But then, a thought came to him which was akin to a match being struck and lit inside of his mind. "Why *not* have a little fun with sis' cadaver before the rest of the clan gets here? For all of the hard times this two-legged piece of shit put me through over the years, the least she owes me is a few free fondles. Besides, she's dead and gone, so who's it gonna hurt?"
The lustful thoughts continued to grow and take form in his mind like an evil flower. His cock throbbed intensely as he reached into his cousin's casket and, placing one hand under each arm, roughly pulled her stiffened form out. In the process, some floral displays got knocked over, but this was of no importance now. Once her corpse was free from the hips on up, Bob just let her form roll the rest of the way out, tumbling like a store mannequin to the carpeted floor below. Undressing her would not be very time consuming or difficult, as her dress had already been slit up the back by the morticians who had dressed her. In the frenzied state he was in, it took Bob mere seconds to pull and tear the garment the rest of the way off of her lifeless body.
Not surprisingly, the funeral home staff had not bothered to dress her in any undergarments. For the first time since they were both young, Bob now stood looking at his cousin's naked body.
Realizing his time was rather limited, the carnal-minded cousin stooped down and pried Jade's cool, stiff legs apart, molding her form into a perfect 'Y' shape. Crouching down next to her naked form, Bob roughly grabbed and squeezed at Jade's doughy breasts, manhandling them in a way that would have made any living woman scream in agony. He truly enjoyed pulling her nipples out as far as they would reach, until they both got stretched much further than normal. "You enjoy this, don't you, slut?" he growled at her corpse. Bob clawed at her dead eyes with lustful rape-like passion until the lids were torn and pulled away from her eyeballs. "Look at me, you little cunt!" he hissed at her lifeless form as though she were somehow still alive. Having always fantasized about forcing her to deep throat him, Bob sought to pry her jaws apart, only to have his efforts thwarted by the mortician's thread used to sew her lips shut. He wished to hell he still had his pocket knife as he tugged at the twine with his bare hands, finally giving up after only managing to partially open the mouth. Bob then mounted Jade's dead body, forcing his 8" cock into her amazingly tight hole. However, after a couple of minutes worth of pounding away, the vengeful cousin found that this was not at all what he had wanted from the little whore's body. No, she had simply been too much of a bitch in life to even be a good lay after death. Bob pulled out his shrinking prick and grunted through his clenched teeth; he was becoming angrier by the moment, and his cunt of a cousin's corpse was the perfect object to take that anger out on.
Grabbing 2 flowers which had been knocked to the floor minutes earlier, Bob shoved the stems a full 5 inches up Jade's nose. As he stood up momentarily, Bob felt his lighter rub against the side of his leg. He removed it with a hateful chuckle and, flicking it to a full flame, applied it to his bitchy cousin's cunt wig. Her kinky little pubes caught fire after a few seconds, and Bob began to jack off watching her pussy area slowly turn a brownish color from the fire. Her cunt lips seemed to whither, like the petals of a woodland flower caught in a forest fire. He would liked to have simply burned the bitch's whole corpse, but that involved obvious risks that he was not ready to take at the moment. After spying a broom in one corner of the room, Bob knew there were other ways to have fun with the corpse of a hated one. The broom handle fit nicely into Jade's pussy; why, with enough force exerted, Bob managed to ram a good 18 inches up inside of her vaginal canal. He then stood on her stomach, with his ass facing her upper torso, and began to pull sharply upwards on the broom. Jade's cadaverous hips rose a few inches off of the floor every time Bob yanked on the broom. He wished he could have seen the damage this activity was no doubt doing to his cousin's internal organs. More than anything, though, he wished the bitch was alive to actually feel this pain that she so richly deserved in life. The broom had just begun to crack when Bob pulled the other end toward him with all of his strength, breaking half of it off inside of his deceased sibling's cunt. He knew he would not have much more time left; a pity, as this was really becoming enjoyable! With the stiffest erection he had retained years, Bob ran to grab the lectern from the front of the funeral chapel, returning quickly with it to Jade's corpse. He raised the heavy wooden object 2 feet off of the ground and brought the base of it down hard on his cousin's expressionless face. Again, and again he repeated this move, for a total of 8 times. In the process, the overjoyed cousin managed to break the corpse's nose, both eye sockets, and jaw in several places. Her face now looked as though it contained no bones. The sight of what was once her attractive face now resembled one of those latex masks that one sees on store shelves during Halloween season. Bob then stood atop her face, thereby damaging her crushed features even more severely, and, bending down, grabbed hold of the cadaver's wig. With one fast pull, he managed to rip most of what was in his hand free from his cousin's scalp, sending him reeling back a bit from the force of his own movements.
Bob knew his time was truly running short at this point, so he decided to skip further 'foreplay' and proceed to the main event that was to cap off this orgy of desecration: The beheading of Jade's corpse. Dragging her battered, abused form back over to the coffin, Bob stood her up and leaned her forward until her head was in the coffin, with her shoulders and the rest of her body leaning against the side. Bob stepped up behind the coffin, and, summoning all the force within himself, brought the lid down on Jade's outstretched neck with tremendous force. He then stepped back around to admire his handiwork. Although she had not been fully decapitated as he had hoped, her neck was clearly broken. The head dangled slightly to the left as the rest of her form continued to lean rigidly against the casket. Using his remaining strength, Bob pushed the coffin off of its stands from behind, toppling it and Jade's corpse to the floor with a noisy crash. The end result of this action was most pleasing to Bob's eyes: Jade was lying on her back in a kind of jackknifed position, with her stiff, spread legs raised high into the air. The fallen casket was laying atop her head and chest area. Best of all, her naked, scorched cunt was upturned, making it clearly visible to all who would walk through the funeral chapel's doors that evening.
Sis looked better than ever before, Bob thought to himself as he admired the spectacle he had created. Just then, the proud cousin heard voices coming from the vestibule. Peeking through the chapel's archway while crouching down low, Bob caught a glimpse of two young women standing in the dim outer room. "Must be two of her bitch friends," he thought to himself as he glanced around wildly for an escape route. "Fuck!" he whispered, cursing himself for not finding an alternate way out sooner before going so far with Jade's body. Luckily, the panicked cousin located a nearby backdoor. It was one of those types that could be pushed open from the inside without a key even when it was locked. Bob sprinted through it in the nick of time, just seconds before the pair entered the chapel.
As Bob walked briskly across the nearby parking lot, he could hear the screams of horror coming from the funeral home just behind him. "They've found my surprise," he giggled sadistically to himself. How he wished he could have stuck around, just to have seen the faces of these miserable cunts, who, if they were Jade's friends, were no doubt every bit the scum she was in life. At least this was one funeral service they would never forget!