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"Kind of slow but harmless. Essentially a really sweet kid." That's what Mrs. Johnson, the Park Activities Director, said to anyone who asked why sixteen-year-old Billy Williams hung around with little kids instead of with his peers. Whenever we were at the park, Billy was around, helping with crafts, instigating water-balloon fights, teaching us how to spin the four-square ball, bouncing it just inside the lines and then out so that it was impossible to return.

The boys thought he was cool; Billy could spit further than anyone and could nearly take the cover off the softball when he hit it with his bat. His dog, Knocker, would happily perform trick after trick for us, dancing on his hind legs, sitting pretty, playing dead. The girls, myself included, all thought Billy was dreamy with his soft brown hair, big eyes and full lips. He looked like he should be on the cover of Tiger Beat or Sixteen Magazine with any of the other pretty teen-age boy stars of the day and it was exciting to be in his presence and talk about him in hushed towns at slumber parties.

It would be years before I realized that Billy wasn't slow; he was anything but. He was a sixteen-year-old horn dog and his village idiot act was just that, an act. Conventional wisdom at the time said that sex perverts were grown men who drove cars and tried to pick up little kids by telling them he knew their fathers. They weren't teen-age boys who looked like TV stars and didn't even shave yet. Many years after the events of this story, I was startled to recognize Billy Williams among the many photographs of sex offenders in a book of mug-shots. I didn't say anything to the cops – it wasn't relevant to the case at hand – but that night and many, many nights after, I relived the events that had occurred between sixteen-year-old Billy Williams and my eight-year-old self.

**********

"Did you hear?" My best friend and neighbor, eleven-year-old Meggie O'Hara, was breathless. She had run all the way to my house from the park. "Billy Williams is starting a club. He said he's only going to let the coolest kids join and he asked me and Daria and said we could ask you! This is so cool!"

"What kind of club?" I completely dismissed the notion that gorgeous, older Billy Williams would think Meggie, Daria, and I were "cool kids".

"Who cares? It's Billy! He says it's going to be a very small club and there's going to be an initiation and meetings will be in the old hobo shack on Deaver Hill.

Deaver Hill was the long, grassy slope above our neighborhood park and the old hobo shack was just what we called a rundown outbuilding at the edge of the property adjoining the park. The owners didn't want kids playing in it, and of course that just made it irresistible.

"And he wants us to join?" I asked, very dubious.

Meggie sighed with exasperation. "Why not? I bet it's just going to be a thing where we hang around and smoke cigarettes. He's just looking for people that won't squeal and he's saw us smoking that one time, so he knows we'll keep our mouths shut."

That made sense to me. I was only eight, after all.

"What's an initiation?"

"It's like a secret ritual we have to go through to join the club. He said there'll be candles and shit."

"Meggie!" She frequently swore but it always shocked me. I, myself, never dared. My mother would have slapped me six ways from Sunday if she ever heard me say the kinds of things Meggie did.

"Oh, grow up! Anyway, he said we'll go in to the shack one at a time and then we'll have to do some kind of task to prove we're cool and worthy of being in the club."

"If we go in one at a time, how will he know if we do the task?"

"Gosh, you're stupid sometimes. He'll be in the shack and we'll have to do the task in front of him."

"Oh. Did he really say you could ask me?" I could hardly believe that Billy Williams thought I was cool enough to join his club.

"Yeah. He said you, me, and Daria were the coolest girls at the park and the initiation would prove it. So're you in?"

"Yeah, I'm in. When's the initiation?"

"Tomorrow, after school. Meet me and Daria at the corner and we'll go together.

**********

"Glad you girls could make it," Billy greeted us, flashing his handsome smile. He looked dreamier than ever. His mink-brown hair hung to his shoulders and he was wearing blue jeans and motorcycle boots and a black vest over a white t-shirt. Definite star potential.

"So, Meggie first. She's the oldest. You two can wait down here. When Meggie comes out, Daria can come in, and then when Daria comes out, you come in, Chrissie." He smiled just for me and I thought I might faint.

It wasn't two minutes later that Meggie came out, looking upset. "I'm not going to join," she said. "And I don't think you two should either."

"What happened?" Daria asked.

"Never mind. I just didn't want to do the initiation. And," she repeated, "I don't think you two should either."

"Well, I'm not missing my chance at Billy's club," Daria said. She was a ten-year-old tomboy who never turned down a dare.

"Daria, don't," Meggie was pleading.

"If you don't want us to go in," I said reasonably, "then tell us what the initiation was. Otherwise, we have to find out for ourselves."

"I can't tell you. I swore with spit that I wouldn't."

Well, if she spit-swore then she couldn't tell us, that was a fact of childhood.

"I'm going in," Daria said. "Wish me luck." She headed up the hill to the shack.

"I'm going home," said Meggie. "I don't feel good. Come with me, Chrissie. You're too young for this, I swear to God."

I was dying to know what had happened with Meggie and Billy in the shack, but there was just no point in asking again. It made me nervous about going in myself but as the youngest kid in the group that habituated the park, and as a chubby, bespectacled, Catholic school going girl, I was desperate to be seen as cool – something I'd never thought I could even aspire to.

"Naw, I'm going to stay. I really want to join the club, Meggie. And if Billy thinks I'm cool enough . . . Jeez, I can't just run away!"

"Well, I'll be at home. When you find out you can't do what he wants, come to my house."

She walked away from me, shoulders slumped. All alone, nervousness was getting the better of me and she was still in sight when I stood up to follow her, but just then Daria came running down the hill.

"No big deal," she said. "Meggie just freaked out cause she's starting to get boobs, I bet."

"What do Meggie's boobs have to do with anything?"

"He told me to take off my shirt, that's all. I did and then we just sat around and talked. He gave me a cigarette and told me I was cool and that Meggie was a loser."

"Meggie's not a loser," I said hotly, defending my best friend. "I can see why she wouldn't want to show her boobs. You and me don't have any so it's not a big deal for us." I stood up and brushed leaves and dirt off my shorts. "So are you in the club?"

"Yep! I'm the first member," she added proudly. "Go on in and get it over with. You don't want to keep Billy waiting, it might not be cool."

"Just taking my shirt off? Yeah, that's no big deal. I can do that. Okay, I'm going. Will you wait for me?"

"As long as you don't take too long. I've got to be home by four or my mom'll kill me."

********

Billy was sitting on the floor, his legs crossed Indian style. There was a heavy curtain over the only window so that no light came into the shack but, as Meggie had promised, there were lit candles everywhere. He looked up as I stood in the doorway and gave me a smile that caused my heart to race. Stubbing out a cigarette, he stood up and walked over to me.

"Ready? Daria passed with flying colors. It's too bad about Meggie. I hope her decision won't affect yours."

"I make up my own mind," I said, acting braver than I felt. "What do you want me to do?"

He took my hand and led me the six paces across the room. With a flourish, he produced a large pillow and dusted it off with his bandana and then told me to sit. When I was comfortable, with my back resting against the wall of the shack, he sat down in front of me.

"I'll take off my shirt and then you take off yours."

Daria had already warned me about this and without hesitation I yanked my t-shirt over my head. I didn't even wait for him to remove his first, although he wasn't far behind me. This was no big deal. At eight I was still used to occasionally running around with out a shirt in front of my father and brothers and family friends.

"You're very pretty."

"No, I'm not," I said, blushing. "I'm fat and I wear glasses."

"You're not fat," Billy said sincerely. "You just think you are coz you run around with those two sticks."

I giggled. Daria and Meggie were both rail thin.

"I wish you were my girlfriend."

My face felt hot and without looking down I knew I must be bright red from my chest to the top of my head. I sure hadn't expected him to say that! Billy Williams wanted me, fat, glasses-wearing, Catholic school going, plain Chrissie Jacobs to be his girlfriend! Unless he was making fun of me.

"You don't have to make fun of me. I want to be in your club. I'll do what you want but don't make fun of me!" I could feel tears swimming in my eyes.

"Hey! Hey, Chrissie. I'm not making fun of you." He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head up. "Honest. I think you're the cutest girl at the park. I only started this club as a way to get close to you. I swear! And I only asked Meggie and Daria to join because I knew you wouldn't if they didn't. When Meggie said no, my heart almost broke, cause I thought you'd say no too."

His finger was still under my chin and his head dipped down until his lips brushed my ears. I wiggled with embarrassment and excitement. "Can I kiss you, Chrissie? Please? Let me kiss you." He didn't wait for my answer but pressed his lips to mine. I felt dizzy and had to close my eyes. His were too close, too big and brown and soft. And his lips were like velvet against mine.

Then, completely unexpectedly, his tongue was in my mouth and one of his hands was on one of my nipples, rubbing tiny little circles around it. I pulled back in shock. "Ewww! Billy! Stop it! That's nasty!"

"No, no it isn't. I just surprised you. I'm sorry. It's how the big girls kiss. I forgot you were just a little kid. We'll go slower. I'm sorry." His eyes were full of remorse and concern and for a moment I felt sorry for him, until I realized what he'd said.

"I am not a little kid!" I pressed my hands against his chest and tried to push him away.

Billy gave a little groan and I felt his nipple stiffen under my palm. He leant down and kissed me again, moving slower than the first time, allowing me to adjust to the idea of his tongue slipping into my mouth. It still felt nasty, thick and slimy and he tasted like an ashtray but I didn't want him to call me a little kid again.

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Billy pulled his head back to look at me.

"No. Not too bad."

"We'll try it again, okay? Only this time, you put your tongue in my mouth."

I didn't want to but I did. And putting my tongue in his mouth was better than feeling his in mine. After a minute, he closed his mouth around my tongue and sucked lightly at it. Suddenly I felt like I was burning up. My whole body felt hot but I started to shiver uncontrollably. Then I was kissing him for real, with my whole heart. I pushed my tongue deeper into his mouth and sucked his when it came back into mine.

He took my hand and pressed it over the zipper of his jeans, mashing it down against something hard. I didn't know what he was doing, it seemed stupid to me, but it made him groan and kiss me harder, so I began to squeeze the lump in his pants voluntarily. He took his hand away and brought it back to my chest, rubbing and squeezing my nipples until I saw stars behind my tightly closed eyes. He gave a deep groan and the thing in his pants seemed to jump. All at once, I was scared. I pulled my mouth away again and scooted backwards, staring at him wide-eyed.

"I think that's enough," I said, even though I really wanted to keep doing what we had been doing. But my body's reaction was scaring me.

Billy's face was red and blotchy and he was breathing harshly, like he'd just run a race. "See what you do to me?" He pressed my hand over his heart and I could feel it pounding violently under the smooth skin. "God, you're so cute! I think I love you, Chrissie. But you're right, we should stop for now." He smiled at me. "You passed the initiation. You're in the club. You and Daria should meet me here tomorrow, after school. Think you can?"

Nothing could have kept me away but I tried to act cool. "Yeah, probably. Unless my mom wants me to do chores or something."

"Get out of them. I have to see you tomorrow. I have to!" He sounded really desperate.

"Okay. I'll be here. I promise! I gotta go." I stood up, pulled my shirt back over my head and headed for the door of the shack. "I'll see you tomorrow, Billy." And then I went back to where he was, kissed him on the mouth and whispered, "I love you, too," before I ran out of the shack as fast as my chubby legs would take me.

********

I hardly slept that night, tossing and turning in my bed, remembering the thick slickness of Billy's tongue in my mouth. I started shaking and for reasons I didn't understand, only felt better when I pressed my legs tightly together and clenched every muscle in my body. My nipples burned where he had touched them, and I rubbed my own palms over them, trying desperately to soothe the flames but only inflaming them further. I shoved my thumb into my mouth, pretending it was Billy's tongue, licking all over it, but that only made things worse. Each time I fell asleep, I would dream of Billy kissing me and his hands roaming over my chest and down my belly and then, just as it seemed my dream would reveal something I desperately wanted to know, I would wake up and toss and turn some more.

The next day at school, I was a wreck, tired and cranky and unable to focus on anything my teacher said. For the first time I was glad that Meggie and Daria didn't go to my school; I don't think I could have met their eyes. The day seemed twice as long as usual. I thought I might go crazy before the final bell rang, but at last it did and I practically ran out of the building. Once I was out of sight of my classmates, I did run – all the way up the hill from school to my house.

"Mom, I'm home!" I called out, throwing my satchel on the couch and racing upstairs to my room to change out of my plaid school uniform and into my jeans. "I'm meeting Daria at the park. I'll be home for dinner." I was out of the house again before my mother could think of some reason why I should stay home.

I ran all the way to the park and stumbled gasping up the hill to the hobo shack. I was half afraid Billy wouldn't be there and half afraid he would be. Hesitating, I tried to catch my breath before I opened the shack door.

Billy was there, sitting just as he had been the day before. I noticed that today, instead of wearing a t-shirt, he had on a shirt with buttons undone to his navel. I could see a smooth expanse of chest and part of one brown nipple. I swallowed hard. He was so handsome!

"Daria isn't here yet?"

"Come on in and take a seat," he said cheerfully. "Gosh, you're all out of breath. Did you run the whole way? Excited to see me, I hope."

"Where's Daria?" I asked, unwilling to admit that I had run all the way home and then to the park.

"Sit. I'll tell you a secret."

I sat down on the same pillow as the day before and held my breath as Billy scooted closer to me.

"I told Daria," he whispered, "that the meeting didn't start until four o'clock. I wanted some time alone with you, so we could, you know? It's only three fifteen, boy, you really must've run to get here this quick. I'm glad you did. That gives us forty-five minutes."

He leant towards me and I instinctively closed my eyes and puckered up. Nothing happened and I opened my eyes again to see him silently laughing. "What? I thought you were going to kiss me."

"I am going to kiss you, Chrissie. I'm going to love you right up, but first, club rules. No shirts in the clubhouse." He unbuttoned the last two buttons of his shirt and slowly stripped it off, then ran his hands up and down his naked torso, tweaking his nipples until they stood erect. I could see a thin line of hair running from his belly button into his jeans. I hadn't noticed it the day before but today it made the spit dry up in my mouth. He looked like a grown-up! It's just Billy, I reminded myself. Just Billy, same old Billy.

I didn't understand why there was a no shirt rule, but I wasn't going to ask either. I knew clubs often had strange rules and this one, I reminded myself, was no big deal. There was nothing for him to see, I had no breasts at all. Without my shirt I looked just like any of the neighborhood boys. No reason to be embarrassed.

"Look, your little nipples are inside out!"

Not knowing why I blushed, I looked down at my chest and saw that my nipples were indeed inverted as usual. "So what? They're always like that."

"You saw how I made mine stand up. Yours can too, you know. Do you want me to show you?"

"That's stupid," I said, "who cares if they stand up or not."

"Big girls care a lot. I guess you're still too young for it to matter. Maybe I was wrong about wanting you in my club."

That was the second time he'd hurt my feelings suggesting I was just a kid. It made me angry and I had to prove I wasn't a baby.

"Show me, then. If you think it's so important." I was pouting and I knew it but I couldn't seem to stop. I'll show him I'm not a baby!

"Naw, nevermind. You're just a kid. I don't want you running home to mommy. I guess I should've just let Daria come right after school."

"I am not a kid!" I yelled. "I can do anything bigger girls can do."

"Can you now," he asked softly. "Well, let's see." He was pulling on his nipples and they seemed to just keep getting bigger. "You can make them stand up by doing what I'm doing to mine, or . . ." he leaned in closer to me, "I can make them stand up for you. Do you want to see what happens when I kiss your titties?"

The muscles in my vagina clenched like they did when I had to pee really bad, only I didn't have to pee and somehow the sensation was pleasurable. I had no idea what was going on and I was reminded of my dreams of the night before. I knew I was standing on the edge of something big and all I had to do was jump. If I was brave enough. If I was grown-up enough.

Taking a deep breath, I thrust my chest out at him. "Kiss 'em, then."

Oh God. He didn't just kiss them. He lapped at them with his wet tongue and then sucked one into his mouth. He kept up a steady sucking pressure until I thought I would jump out of my skin. Between my legs my muscles kept clenching and unclenching. When, at last, he pulled his mouth away, my nipple was poking straight out of my chest, bright red and a strand of spit connected it to his mouth. In an instant, he dove in again and took my other nipple in his mouth, treating it the same way as he had the first.

Breathing heavily, he broke away again, making me whimper because I never wanted him to stop. "I guess you're not such a little kid, after all." And then he was almost on top of me, pressing me down to the floor, pushing spit into my mouth with his tongue. One of his hands plucked at my nipple and the other shoved my own hand between his legs and he was grinding it between his thighs so hard I though my wrist might break. With a muffled curse, he pushed my hand away. "God, I need to feel you, Chrissie! I need to feel your skin on my cock!"

He said cock! I was shocked. Cock was a dirty word. My mother had washed my brother's mouth out with soap when he'd used the word.

I watched, a wave of nausea washing over me, as Billy unbuttoned his jeans and violently tugged down his zipper. I got another shock. He wasn't wearing any underwear and I could see his where the line of hair from his navel joined up with more hair. Saying things like, "so hot, so fucking hard," he tugged his jeans down over his hips and his penis stuck straight out.

"What's wrong, Billy?" I was really worried. I had seen penises before. You don't share a bathroom with three brothers without occasionally catching a glimpse, but I'd never seen one hard and it frightened me. It looked so big and swollen there was obviously something wrong.

"I'm so hard it hurts, baby. Help me. Help me, please, Chrissie. Oh God, fuck! Touch me."

"No! I can't!"

"Please, Chrissie. I'm begging. It hurts so much. You can help me. Oh, if you really loved me you'd help me!"

"What should I do?" He was obviously suffering and I did love him. I had to help him.

"Wrap your hands around it. Yeah, just like that. Now tug it up and down. It's like a cramp. You need to apply pressure."

I knew what a cramp was, knew that even though it hurt it helped the cramp go away if you bore down on it. Full of concern, I did just what he asked, gripping it tightly – it seemed so big and hot in my small hands – and tugging up and down. In a matter of just a few seconds, Billy yelled out and white stuff shot from the tip of his penis and spilled over my fingers. Disgusted, I wiped my fingers on my shorts.

His head fell back and he gasped for breath. "Yeah. That's better. That's much better. You really helped me. I thought I was going to die."

"Do you get cramps like that a lot?"

"Don't know what it is, darling girl, but when I'm around you, it's like all the blood rushes to my cock and then I'm hard. It happened yesterday, but I wasn't sure you loved me enough to help me."

"I do love you, Billy. You're the handsomest boy I've ever met."

"Chrissie, will you be my girlfriend? Say you will. Say you'll be my girlfriend and help me when I get cramps."

I hardly knew what to say. It was my wildest dream come true. Billy Williams, my boyfriend. "My boyfriend," I said out loud, just to hear it. "Do you mean it? Do you really mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it. You're my girlfriend. You're so grown-up, Chrissie. I can hardly believe you're only ten."

I giggled. "I'm eight, you blockhead."

"Eight? No way! You're only eight and you made me cream like that? Amazing."

Then, to my complete disgust, he scooped up some of the white stuff from the tip of his penis and held his fingers out to me. "Last step in the initiation," he said. "Taste the cream you pulled out of my body."

That was so unfair! He hadn't told me there was more to the initiation!

"Come on, honey. Show me you can act like the big girls. Big girls love spunk."

I didn't even know what spunk was but I shook my head no. I wasn't licking that stuff off his fingers. It had to be like pus or something.

"My last girlfriend did. She liked it. I guess you don't really want to be my girlfriend." He sounded so sad. "Maybe I'll hook up with her again."

"No!" I almost shouted. "I'm you're girlfriend!

"Then taste my cream. You can make cream too, you know? I'll taste yours when you make it and then we'll really be girlfriend and boyfriend. Taste it. Lick my spunk up."

Tentatively, I licked his fingers and then wrinkled my face. It didn't taste like cream at all.

"Oh yeah, that's hot, honey. Licking my nasty jizz off my fingers."

Spunk. Jizz. I was dawning on me that those were words for the stuff that had come out of his penis. The words sounded so nasty to me and I knew they were bad words. I found that strangely exciting. "Yeah," I said, "I'm licking your jizz off your fingers."

"Say that again."

"What?"

"Say jizz."

"Jizz."

"Say spunk."

"Spunk."

It seemed to excite him as much as it did me. He made me say cock and cum and cunt and ass and pussy and piss and shit and fuck and with every dirty word out of my mouth, his penis got bigger and bigger.

"You're penis is swelling again. Does it hurt?"

"Don't call it penis. Only babies say penis. It's my cock. Say cock again."

"Cock."

"Ask me if my big fat cock hurts."

"Does your big fat cock hurt?"

From behind us, I heard a voice say, "Yeah, does your big fat cock hurt?"

"Daria! You made it!"

"What's he done to you, Chrissie?" Daria sounded angry. "This is a lot more than just taking off her shirt, you pervert!"

"Hey, Daria," Billy said easily. "Glad you're here. Don't worry. I didn't do anything to her. I wouldn't hurt her. I wouldn't hurt either one of you. Chrissie just asked to see my dick, so I was showing her."

I was too shocked to say anything. I hadn't asked to see Billy's cock! I had only been helping him out. Why would he say something like that?

Billy winked at me and I knew he wanted me to go along with what he was saying. I was afraid if I didn't, he'd get mad and call me a little kid again, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Hey, Daria, before you sit down," Billy reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of coins. "Will you go down to the park and get us some sodas? And then hurry right back. It's time to get the first club meeting going. And we can't start without our charter member and vice-president."

"Really? I'm vice-president? Cool!" Daria snatched the money out of Billy's hand and was out of the shack in an instant. "I'll be right back," she shouted from somewhere down the hill, "don't start the meeting without me."

"God, her timing sucks," Billy complained. "I wanted you to see what my spunk tasted like fresh from the source. Listen, Chrissie, we don't have much time before Daria gets back. Do you think you can really be my girlfriend?"

"Yes," I said simply, sure that I was up to anything he wanted.

"Daria was pissed off when she got here because she was jealous."

"She was?"

"Yeah, she like has a crush on me. Didn't she ever tell you?"

She hadn't told me but then she hadn't had to. Every girl in the neighborhood had a crush on Billy.

"See, the thing is. If she gets too jealous, she might get angry and say something to someone when she shouldn't."

"Yeah, she might at that." Daria was known for both her temper and for shooting her mouth off when she shouldn't.

"So, I'm going to pretend that I like her too. You know, that way. And I need you to know that it's only you I love and I'm only doing stuff with Daria so she won't get jealous and tell on us. Can you remember that?" Billy was pulling his pants back on and it looked like it hurt to stuff his swollen penis – cock – back into his pants. I felt a little sorry for him and wanted to touch it, stroke it and ease the cramp again. But I wasn't happy with what he was saying.

"What kind of stuff?" I really didn't like the sound of this.

"Kissing her and shit. I don't want to. You've got to believe me. I don't want to touch her at all. I only want to touch you. I only want to kiss you." He kissed me, pushing his tongue deep into my mouth. "So, when she comes back, I'm going to do it. I'll kiss her a little bit and then she'll be satisfied and she'll leave and we can be alone again."

"I don't want you to."

"Come on, little darling. Be brave about it. I'll just kiss her a little bit and touch her and stuff and then she'll go and you can help me with this cramp." He kissed my eyes and my nose and my chin and I was completely melting, willing to put up with anything for the proof of love that was in his kisses.

"Okay," I said reluctantly, "but I don't like it."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. And look, we can't tell her yet that you're my girlfriend. We'll tell her later, when we know we can trust her. Okay?"

"Machine was out of everything but 7-Up," Daria said as she burst in the door.

"7-Up's great. Thanks for getting it. Okay, Chrissie already knows, but club rules, no shirts in the shack."

Daria giggled and blushed a little but she pulled her shirt over her head.

"So, this is a club for cool kids, and you two are the coolest kids in the park so you're the first members. We'll get others to join later but first, since we're going to be running the club together, we've got to make sure we can trust each other. Daria, do you trust me?"

Daria looked at him suspiciously but all she said was, "Yes."

"Are you willing to prove it?"

"Doesn't Chrissie have to prove it?"

"Chrissie already has. And she helped me out of an embarrassing, painful situation without complaining, so I trust her. The question is, do you trust me?"

"I guess."

"And are you willing to prove it?" Billy repeated the question.

"Yeah. If Chrissie did it then I certainly can do it. I'm older than her, you know?"

"I do know. You're almost a teen-ager."

I rolled my eyes. Daria was ten, hardly almost a teen-ager, but I knew Billy was just trying to get on the good side of her and it seemed to be working, because Daria smiled.
"How do I prove I trust you?"

"Well, I think if you do something you might ordinarily consider embarrassing." Billy touched a finger to his lips as if he was thinking. "Maybe if you took all your clothes off."

"Chrissie! Did you take all your clothes off?"

"No, she didn't," Billy said. "The test is different for everybody. Once you prove you trust us, I'll tell you what Chrissie's test was. So, how about it?"

Daria flushed bright red.

"Come on, Daria," I urged. "Do what he says so we can get it over with and really start working on club business." I don't know why I was encouraging this. Deep down, I was afraid that Billy would like Daria better than me. Although they were only just forming, she had the beginnings of tits, and I knew boys liked that and if she was starting to get hair on her vagina, I was definitely going to be outclassed. But I was determined to prove to Billy what a good girlfriend I was.

Daria seemed to be looking everywhere but at me and Billy. Slowly, reluctantly, her hand went to the waistband of her shorts and she tugged them down.

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Billy and saw the tip of his tongue wet his lips. My heart almost broke. I wanted to run away.

"Yeah, that's good. Now, take off your panties." Billy's voice sounded hoarse and once again I fought the urge to run. Then I felt his hand slip over my shoulder and down to my nipple and suddenly everything was all right again.

"Come on, Daria," I snapped. If watching Daria get naked made Billy want to touch me, then I wanted her to undress.

Daria's shorts and panties were puddled around her ankles and she stood there with her hands covering her crotch.

"Shoes, everything. Oh yeah, baby. You're a hot little cunt."

Billy had moved behind me, both hands over my shoulders and tweaking my nipples and his hard cock grinding into my back. I could feel the heat of it through his jeans.

"Don't call me a cunt," Daria complained.

"Why not, baby?" Billy was talking to her but his lips were pressed against my ear and his breath was moist. "You are a cunt. A nasty little cunt, taking her clothes off in public. You've done this before, haven't you?" He was rhythmically pressing his cock against my back. "Maybe for your daddy? Does your daddy touch you, Daria?"

She didn't say anything, just hung her head and looked miserable and suddenly I understood that Billy was right; Daria's father had touched her, she [i]did get naked for him. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought, but Billy's hands were sliding over my belly and under the waistband of my shorts and I couldn't think about poor Daria anymore.

"You're my girlfriend, remember?" Billy whispered softly in my ear. "She's just a little cunt who gets off on showing her body off, but you are my love." One of his hands slipped into my panties and I could feel a thick finger between my legs.

"Billy, don't!" I squirmed, trying to get away from him. Daria looked up for the first time and her eyes widened as she saw what Billy was doing. "Billy!" I whispered furiously.

"Fine!" He shouted angrily. "You don't want me to touch you? I bet Daria does. I bet Daria's drooling for me to touch her!" Billy's hands pulled out of my pants and he backed away from me. But then he winked at me and I knew this was part of his plan. "Show Chrissie that you're not a little baby like she is. Show Chrissie how a real girl pleases a man. Come on, spread those pussy lips. Show me what you got!"

To my shock, Daria did what he said. Her fingers clutched whitely at her labia and she spread them wide, thrusting her hips in Billy's direction.

Billy turned to me, "Will you kiss me, baby?" But I was too intent on what I was seeing to pay any attention to him at all. Daria's . . . pussy – and even mentally I struggled over the word – was red and pink and wet. I'd never seen one close up before and I goggled at it. At the top of it, there was a little nub of red flesh that swelled as I looked on in amazement.

"Fuck, yeah," Billy moaned. "I love little girl cunts. Love your puffy little hairless lips." He sank to his knees in front of her and, clutching her thin hips with both hands, buried his mouth between her wet folds. Daria's hands twined in his hair. "You really are a little slut, aren't you? Daddy's little whore? Does he stick it in you, yet? Fucking slut. Fucking little cunt. You taste so sweet, baby. So fucking sweet. You're making me so hard."

"Billy, that's enough!" Jealousy flamed in me and I yanked at his hair, trying to pull him away from Daria. But she was having none of it, her hands twisted more violently into his hair and she was pulling his face hard against herself.

"God, Chrissie, baby. Help me. I've got a cramp again. Please?"

I could see his red tongue, dark against Daria's pink flesh, lapping up and down.

"Billy, no!" I could feel hot tears spilling down my cheeks. How could he do this in front of me? How could he kiss another girl and there?

He reached his hands up and untangled Daria's from his hair. He turned to me and fastened his wet mouth on mine. I could taste Daria's pussy on his lips. It was nasty, disgusting, and I licked it off of him willingly.

"Touch my cock, Chrissie. Touch my cock while I lick her cunt. Don't you want to make me happy, baby?" As he spoke, still kissing me, he dropped his pants and brought my hands to his stiff cock. "I love you, baby," he whispered. "I love you but I've got to do this. I've got to eat her cunt. But my cock hurts so much. Kiss it and make it better. Kiss my cock, Chrissie." And suddenly he wasn't begging me but ordering me to do it. His big hands pushed my head relentlessly down until my lips nudged the head of his penis. Stuff was dribbling out of it. It tasted the same as what he'd had me lick off his fingers but it was warm, almost hot. I struggled to get away.

"Suck my cock, you fucking little whore." The head of it pushed hard against my lips, forcing my mouth open. "Suck it, Chrissie. Don't make me hurt you."

I was frightened. Tearfully, I looked up at Daria, silently pleading for her help, but she was watching with her tongue hanging out of her mouth and both of her hands were rubbing the wet slit between her legs.

No help at all, she said, "Do it. Suck his fat cock so he'll get back to eating me. What's the matter with you? A really cool kid would do it."

Broken, I opened my mouth and let Billy push his cock in.

"That's good," he crooned. "Wrap those sweet baby lips around my meat. All you little girls are whores at heart, just waiting for someone to show you what you were meant for." He thrust his hips forward a few times until I gagged. He pulled back, then folded himself to the floor, taking me with him. He stretched out on his back, his cock bobbing between his legs, and then stretched his arms out and in one movement, pulled down my shorts and panties until I was as naked as Daria.

Not knowing why I did it, wanting to do anything at all but what I was doing, I moved between his legs and took his cockhead in my mouth again. I was damp between my legs and horrified that I had peed myself without knowing it. I touched myself to see and gasped with pleasure as my fingers stroked over my own little nub. I had never touched myself before.

"Fuck yeah. That's hot. You're a born cocksucker." Strong hands lifted me until I was straddling his body, my butt towards his face. "Daria, crouch over me," I heard Billy say but I couldn't see anything but his cock and long legs stretching out away from me. I felt fingers between my legs, rubbing up and down, concentrating on the hard little nub which seemed like the very center of my body. Fingers too small to be Billy's. Daria was touching me! Daria was rubbing up and down my wet slit, making me feel things I'd never felt before.

Somehow, the sensation made me hungry for Billy's cock. I washed it wetly with my tongue, revelling in his hiss of pleasure when I stuck it in the tiny slit that crowned his cockhead. Vaguely, I was aware of wet noises and Daria saying, "Yeah, motherfucker! Lick my cunt good!" And I didn't care. Didn't care that his mouth was on her. All I cared about was the fingers probing between my legs and the thick pole in my mouth.

I think I had my very first orgasm but I wasn't very aware of it at the time. At the same instant that something swelled within me, causing me to shake violently, Billy's cock spurted its sticky white stuff deep into my mouth and I choked.

I heard Billy yell and then a thud and a scream from Daria and miraculously, Billy was between my legs, his lips and tongue working my cunt, not Daria's.

"You fucking asshole," I heard Daria yell. "I was this close, you lousy bastard!"

"Ignore her, baby," Billy whispered. "Ignore her. It's you I want. Your sweet little baby cunt." He raised his voice. "Back off, bitch. I'll finish you later."

"You lousy bastard," Daria said again.

I only barely had time to register the utter nastiness of Billy's tongue moving from my pussy to my tight butthole and then I fainted.

When I woke up, I was alone. My clothes were folded neatly under my head as a pillow. A dozen or more candles were burning brightly in a ring around my body. Everything felt stiff and sore, yet at the same time I felt wonderful. I shifted slightly, preparing to get up, when I felt something uncomfortable between my legs. Reaching down, I felt a piece of paper partially jammed into my pussy. I winced as I gently tugged it out; it was stiff and scratchy and I was afraid of getting a papercut down there. Holding it up, in the flickering light of the candles, I read Had to split. Your friend Daria's a nasty little freak. I like you better but she says she'll let me fuck her and you're too small for that yet, although when you passed out I was sure tempted. You're a hot little cunt. Sorry I came in your mouth. My last girlfriend liked to lick my ass out, just like I did yours. What do you think? Tonight, when you go to bed, think of your tongue in my ass and touch your pussy. I bet you'll grow to like the idea. God, I could have eaten you out all night but a free fuck is a free fuck and Daria's gagging for it. You know where to find me if you still want to be my girlfriend. Billy.

I sat in the shack for a long time hating Billy, hating Daria. When I got home, my mother could see something was wrong but I just told her I'd had a fight with Daria and I didn't feel good. She sent me to bed, which is exactly where I wanted to be. I cried for a long time but then, after awhile, I pulled Billy's note out of my pocket. I sniffed it and smelled my pussy on the paper. For some reason that made me smile. I did exactly what Billy suggested. I rubbed my pussy and imagined licking his nasty asshole. At first the thought made me feel ill, and then it didn't and I knew I still wanted to be Billy's girlfriend. I would do whatever it took to get him back from Daria. I wasn't too small to fuck him. I wasn't.

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