The voice startled Jack. He had been sitting at the small table in the corner. Lost in thought he had not noticed the other man taking a seat.Now he looked up and it took him a moment to realise who this bloke was.
“Staff Sergeant Matthews, sorry, I was miles away.”
Ryan Matthews laughed, took a big draught from his pint. “I bet.” Jack took to his pint as well, did not respond.
“Will you report her missing?” “What the fuck are you talking about?” Jack's voice had gone icy and his American accent was more audible by now. “Your wife. Or rather David's wife. That's what she was, always will be.” The big man got up and to the bar, placed an order.
Confused Jack watched him. What was going on? What did he mean? And how could he possibly know? He nodded as Matthews placed a pint and a whisky in front of him. After sitting down the man raised his own whisky.
“To Alex, her most toughness, may she have peace at last.” He looked directly at Jack, in his eyes.
As he was not responding he went on. “I won't cause you trouble. She would not have wanted that. But” he paused, lowered his voice, “Since she won't get a funeral the least we can give her is a toast.”
Jack reached for his glass. “Her most toughness?” he asked and raised a brow. “She did not tell me that.”
Matthews laughed. “I bet to tell you all the things she might not have told you would take more than one evening. David used to call her that after they first met. The others soon picked up. Iron Maiden, Ice Queen... and some not so charming ones. Especially after David died and she turned up the next day as usual.”
Jacks eyes opened wider. “David is dead?” She had not told him that either. She...
Ryan nodded. “Three years ago. Two days later Colonel Waters sent her home. Dishonourable discharge two days after the funeral. Vanished four days later without a trace.”
Silence seemed to spread around the two of them like a shield. Ryan thinking of the woman he had known, Jack about the woman he had killed – and the things she had not told him.
It had been some nine month earlier. In Germany a short warm autumn had nearly over night turned into biting cold and frosty nights.
In the second week of this untimely winter Jack had found this homeless girl, woman. Dirty clothes, Army jacket, day pack. A hot breakfast and an intense talk later he had made his offer.
Travel with me, marry me for one year.
Every other woman had jumped at this opportunity. Not her. They had checked into a cheap hotel nearby. She had shown him her body, the tattoos, the scars. In case he wanted to withdraw his offer. But he had not.
He had fucked her there and then. Under the shower, hard without mercy. She had been crying – as she had her orgasm. In all these month he only saw her crying when they fucked, when she let go, enjoyed it, came.
And unlike the others she understood his muttered remark after their first fuck. “Let's feed you up. I don't want to break you – now.” “So you are going to kill me?” she had said casually as she was rolling cigarettes for both of them. “Then I have one condition before I accept. I want to go back to Edinburgh, visit... someone a last time.”
They had talked a lot these hours.
Her name was Alex MacDonald, former British soldier, now homeless and stranded in Germany. Partly because of PTSD, partly personal reasons. Her husband – the bastard who left me – a soldier, too, military police. And he was the guy she wanted to see – one last time, return her wedding band.
Jack had no rejections. He himself was drifting. After a successful career with the American military police he had come into some money and quit his job. He had started to travel the world. Indulging in all the things he has missed during his time with the army – marriage, becoming a father – he now travelled the world with next to no baggage and at his own pace.
And, his deepest and strongest motivation, try the other side. Act out crimes he had seen using his knowledge and training to avoid being caught.
Time just flew by. She had been a worthy companion. With other woman he had to buy a car, find a hotel every night. Alex... had been different. After she had regained her strength they had travelled by bus, train and even plane. Their small possessions in backpacks, everyone carrying their share. They had slept at train stations, air ports, on the beach, the occasional cheap hotel.
He grew to love her. That did not include treating her gently. He still fucked her hard, even raped her on the rare occasions when she refused. They had to stay at one hotel for a week till she was able to go on. She had not complained. Never. Sometimes, in the long wakeful nights, listening to her deep breathing he even suspected that she enjoyed being raped by him.
Three days ago they had reached Edinburgh. She had shown him around, places she loved, tourist attractions. They had ended up at the castle. And met staff sergeant Matthews. She had been tense, alert. “My husband used to let him fuck me”, had been her explanation. And he had believed her.
The next day was the day. Her last day. If she had said one word, just one word, he would have spared her. They could travel on, see the world, all of it.
All she had said was “Today?” and as he nodded she smiled her typical faint little smile. “Better face my demon then. See you at noon.”
He prepared a bag. Handcuffs, ropes, a knife and two batons, the ones with a handle. All got wrapped up in towels and his spare clothes that they would not make too much noise.
Jack went out to hire a car, got back to the hotel and waited. Just by chance he was looking out of the window as she approached. Her movements like a sleepwalker. Even with her clean clothes and hair in this moment she reminded him of the homeless he had picked up than the woman who had travelled with him. No wonder she always referred to this David as 'bastard'. If he could do this to her in – he checked his watch – four hours give or take.
She was back in control of herself when she entered the room. But one look told him that she had been crying. “Ready?” This was her last chance. She nodded and he picked up the bag. “Let's go.”
He led the way, drove towards her end.
Alex was silent, the faint smile on her lips as she watched the familiar streets go by, the countryside. “Did you let him fuck you?” he asked eventually and she looked at him. “No.” Was it a lie?
“You only cry when you get fucked.” She shrugged. “Not today.” He had the feeling as if she wanted to say more but then she just shook her head, repeated “Not today.”
He left it at this, turned into a small country lane. After another hour they reached the spot he had chosen.
“Take the bag, just a short walk from here.” She followed in silence, bag over her shoulder, long powerful strides.
On a clearing he stopped. “Put that bag down and undress.” He pointed to a fallen tree on the ground and sat down, looked up to her.
She smiled, looked down on him. “How do you want me? Docile and following your instructions? Putting up a fight to,” she chuckled “make it easier for you?” “How do you want to go?” His voice was calm and their eyes locked. She bit her lip. So she was nervous after all.
“I...”, she looked away, got down and started to untie her boots. “I would like to keep the shirt on. Otherwise I will be obedient, do what you want.” She took of her boots, straightened again and opened her pants. Jack raised a brow. She had kept this old army shirt the whole time. It was still too big for her. “Why?” “Do I have to explain everything? Even now?” She stripped her pants down, the panty as well. “If you say no there is not much I can do about it. It is just one of the last wishes. And I would like another fag.”
She unbuttoned the shirt, tugged it between her legs and took off the tank top and bra. Both were carelessly tossed aside and she raised a brow questioningly.
Jack got up, touched her. With both hands he cupped her small tits, massaged them gently before he pinched both nipples. Alex closed her eyes with a sharp intake of breath. One of the few signs of pain she had ever allowed herself.
“You will get a last cigarette. Maybe more. This will take time.” His finger traced the big scar on her belly. “And I will stub them out on you. Or in you?” He chuckled a mean chuckle, watched her. “Yes Sir, thank you, Sir.” He smiled. “You can wear the shirt, open. Arms on your back, now.”
Was that relieve on her face? It passed so quickly and he was not sure. As she slipped the shirt on he opened the bag, fished for the handcuffs.
Alex turned around, arms on her back, wrists close together. As he cuffed her she shuddered. “Too tight?” “Yes.” “Good.” But despite his harsh tone he brushed her long black hair over her shoulder and kissed her neck. “I will make you suffer. Because I want you to suffer. The pain will be intense and I don't want you to get away.”
She nodded. It made perfect sense. “Yes, Sir.” Jack smiled. “Alright, do you want to see what I have for you?” He could feel her tension, sensed her licking her lips. “Yes, Sir.”
“Turn around, on your knees.” Without a moment hesitation she obeyed. Even with her hands cuffed on her back she managed a smooth movement. For a moment he looked down on her. Legs spread she knelt in the grass only partly covered in the army shirt and her long black hair. His smile softened. “You are beautiful.”
Alex looked up in surprise. All the scars, the small tits – she had never considered herself beautiful.
Jack took his time to unpack, starting with the ropes. Two long rough hemp ropes and a roll of para-cord. He saw the fear in her eyes and touched her cheek. “As I promised, I won't hand or strangle you. But I might want to tie you up to a tree.” His tone was casual. Next was the carbon knife. “Such a pity there won't be enough time to add some scars. Your back is nearly empty.” She licked her lips, gaze fixed on the bag.
“Yes, there is one more thing. Two to be precise. It came to my mind after we met this friend of yours.”
Now she looked up, in his eyes. “Even though you did not tell me. They both fucked you, am I right?” Alex nodded, took a deep breath. “And you loved it? One dick up your tight ass, the other buried in your greedy cunt. Both holes filled, stuffed.” “Yes, Sir”, her voice was hoarse.
“One thing I have not given you. Until today.” He noticed her quick glance around the clearing and laughed. He took the last towel from his bag and shook the truncheons free. “I have no intention of spoiling this intimate moment with inviting a stranger. But you might like it anyway. That's why I got two of them.”
“Thank you”, Alex whispered. Jack leant over and kissed her. Her lips parted, she took part in this kiss with the passion he had experienced so often. Her tongue played with his, licked his lips. With one hand he gripped her neck, pulled her closer as he led the other slide between her legs.
“What did turn you on?” he muttered as he felt her getting wet. Instead of replying she just moaned in his mouth and pressed hard against his hand. “Greedy little bitch.” He started to rub her clit. Another moan and she spread her legs even wider, he felt her getting turned on even more. “Let's get you ready.”
Expertly he played with her clit, varying from soft teasing strokes to hard pinches. Alex closed her eyes, her hard nipples were rubbing on the fabric of the shirt, her juices were flowing. Just moments before she could get relieve Jack finished abruptly.
“I take it you want to be fucked?” Panting she looked at him, her vision clouded. “What would you do to get fucked now?” he mused and reached for a baton.
For a moment he hesitated, pondering how to fuck her now. And to give her time to settle down.
The cuffs would hurt her, if he placed her on her back. But he would be in no good position to touch her tits, torture her nipples when he placed her on her stomach. And kneeling was not an option. Not now.
“On your back, spread your legs.”
With legs still trembling she lowered herself to one side, rolled on her back. She winched slightly as the metal bit in her wrists and her lower back as she tried to find a position that was bearable at least. “Now, which of your holes shall we fill first. I know you like it in the ass.” Jack positioned the tip of the metal baton at her ass-hole. “No lube I am afraid.” And he pushed gently.
Alex moaned. He was right. She loved it but now it hurt. And Jack did not fuck her with it. He just shoved it in. Slowly, inch by inch and only a short bit.
“Now you have the equivalent of an average cock up your ass. Feels good, doesn't it.” “Yes, Sir” She pushed careful against it and he chuckled. “Later. You will get all you want. And even more. Now it is time to fill your greedy wet cunt.”
As if to prove his words he placed his fingers between her swollen pussy lips and moved them. A low squelching sound made him laugh. “Nice and wet. This won't hurt.”
Alex moaned again, moved and licked her lips. He had seen her do this so often. Anticipating a fuck. What a waste. Still time to go back. Just fuck her, torture her, untie her and keep her forever.
But the urge inside him was stronger.
As careful as he had handled the first one he inserted the second one. Slowly, almost teasing, not hard enough to fulfil her desire. She gasped. It felt so good as it slid in easily, only emphasising the other one already sticking in her.
Jack stopped and she sighed, opened her eyes again.
“Did you miss it?” “Yes, Sir”, she nodded, shifting her body again to take some weight of her wrists. “Then I will keep you filled. Till the end.” He bent down and kissed her. “Just a bit further.” He felt resistance, tried a different angle and it slid in a bit more. “All the way.” He smiled. “I know you want me to fuck you now. With both of them. Hard, merciless, both holes.” “Yes, please.” Wanting was in every word.
“No”. The disappointed look on her face made him laugh again. “A kind of torture you have not expected?” he mused, kissed her again and withdrew.
“I could blindfold you, let you lie here and just watch you.” With crossed legs he sat next to her, brushed the shirt back from her tits. The small nipples stood firm and erect and he pinched both at the same time, making her wince.
“Don't pretend you don't like that.” Rolling one hard between his fingers he reached for her crotch. “You are wet.” “Yes, Sir,” she murmured, pushed her hips against his hand.
“Too wet.” He stated dryly as he observed the second truncheon move.
“Never thought I hear a guy say that”, Alex muttered and he laughed. “Try to hold it inside. If you succeed you get the first of your last smokes.”
She nodded. A look of confusion on her face that turned to understanding as Jack started to play with her clit. Groaning she closed her eyes. She could not help it, the thing slid slowly out. But even that felt good. Movement, even so slight movement in one hole, stuffed in the other.
This time Jack did not stop. Panting she came as the baton left her dripping cunt.
Unmoved Jack picked it up, held it to her lips. “Lick it clean.” His voice hard, commanding and she opened her mouth. Tasting herself on the now warm metal made her shiver.
“No smoke for you. Let's just replace this.”
This time he fucked her with it. Pushing it deeper and deeper till he reached the point where it would go no further.
Holding it with one hand he shoved the other one a bit deeper until they were both the same length. “Now it is right at your cervix. Push it further and it will enter your womb.”
Alex opened her eyes, looked at him. He nodded. “That is what is going to happen to you. But”, he smiled an evil smile. “it will not be me who is doing this.”
With care he reached around her shoulder and pulled her up. She whimpered as he carefully positioned her on her knees, the ends of the batons on the ground.
“Did they fuck you like this? On your knees, one dick shoved in your ass, the other in your wet cunt? Did they make you get off like this?” Alex nodded, had to clear her throat before she was able to answer. “Sometimes.”
“You could try to fuck yourself now. Up and down, enjoy it. Or you can try to hold it like this. How long till your legs will give way? An hour? Two? Or even less, if I touch you like this?”
He rubbed her sensitive clit again and Alex moaned loudly. “Or you can embrace the pain. Push down, feel them slide in, all the way. Deep deep inside you.”
Jack's voice was quiet, almost hypnotic. “Imagine how that would feel. Two hard things inside you, impaling you, hurting you, killing you slowly.”
Alex whimpered again. She could fell her legs trembling. “You can do it. Take them in.” Jacks fingers touched her body. He felt her tension.
“Or do you want me to do it. Push you down? Or get you back on you back and shove them in one by one? Twice the pain, the fear?”
Their eyes met and he leant in to kiss her. “Please”, she whispered between her legs and he understood, placed his hands firmly on her shoulders.
She felt the weight pushing her down. Agonizing pain shot up from her cervix and she gasped. The other one just slid in further. “No, let's make it special for you.” Jack whispered, hoarse with arousal.
One hand still on her shoulder he reached for her clit. “One last orgasm and I will push you down. All the way.”
She licked her lips again, closed her eyes. It had taken him only a short time to read her body, find all the movements that pleased her. The spots that reacted to his touch, made her climax. And he had had a long time to experiment with them. Now he took his time, teased her, played with her body.
Involuntarily she moved her hips, felt the movement inside her, the pain.
Mouth wide open she moaned with pleasure and pain. It would kill her, slowly, but in this moment it felt so good.“More”, she gasped, groaned again and winced as the pain flared up again.
Jacks soft laugh at her ear, his fingers so gently rubbing her clit. “You want more?” and he pinched her clit, making her twitch. “Let go”, he whispered in her ear and touched her harder.
“Oh”, she sounded almost surprised as the orgasm washed over her. For a moment Jack just admired the sight. The trembling, sweating body, the open mouth, the closed eyes, pain and pleasure written on her face. Then he leaned down on her with his full weight.
Alex screamed, doubled over. The pain was sickening. She felt something inside her give way, tear. And Jack still pushed on. Painfully slow her body was lowered on the two metal poles. He watched with fascination as they both disappeared up to the handle. She was still whimpering in pain as he lifted her up and lowered her careful on her back. She was bleeding. He had expected that, her insides were torn. What he had not expected was, that the two batons seemed to block the flow.
He got up and left her. “Don't go.”
There was pain in her voice. And panic?
“Just a sec.” He returned with the para-cord “I promised you to keep you filled till the end. So we have to make some adjustments. That's why I chose the ones with the handles.”
He fumbled his cigarettes out of his shirt pocket, lit one and placed it between her lips. “How does it feel?”
She took a deep drag, exhaled the smoke through the nose, then another one. He took the cigarette away and she looked at him. “It hurts... feels... strange.”
They shared the smoke in silence. Jack took it from her lips, it was nearly burnt down.
“This will be my last chance to do this.” Irritated she looked at him. Then she screamed as he stubbed it out on her sensitive clit. Instinctively she tried to get away, felt the metal inside her move, causing even more pain.
As if nothing had happened Jack knelt between her spread legs. She felt his tongue on her burned clit and grunted with pain. “Even when you die I like your taste. Maybe even more.” Alex was not sure if she was meant to hear his words. His voice was so different, seemed so far away. She just laid still, tried to breathe flat. That seemed to ease the pain. For now.
As Jack straightened up there was blood on his lips and chin. “Now”, he smiled. “As I said, a few adjustments.” Pain made her groan again as he turned the baton in her cunt that the handle was rubbing on her now sore clit.
With confident and calm movements he tied the para-cord around the handles, then around her small waist. “And even some length spare”, he murmured. After a moment hesitation he reached for her shoulders. “Let's make a pretty collar tied to this.”
In pain she whimpered as her full weight was placed on the batons between her legs. “Not long, promise.”
But it felt like eternity. As he was finished the para-cord was wound around her neck like a collar, two strings going down over her breasts to the harness, holding everything in place.
Jack got up and admired his handiwork. He had always been good at improvising. Suddenly he was aware of his hard cock in his pants. And Alex on her knees in front of him.
On the second day in that shabby hotel in Germany she had surprised him by taking in his whole cock, down her throat. The memory stirred in his mind and he moaned.
“Open your mouth.” With one hand he unbuttoned his jeans, with the other he reached out, grabbed her neck. Fingers tightening in her hair he shoved his cock down her throat. She whimpered again, tears of pain were rolling from the corners of her eyes.
Face-fucking her he looked her in the eyes. Even with all this pain she was trying to give him as much pleasure as she could saliver was dripping from her lips.
“Fuck, Alex”, he gasped as he shot his load and pulled her closer.
Wide eyed she looked up to him. A pleading look in her eyes. This was one of the things she hated. Being held till she felt suffocated. Jack smiled down at her, stroked her cheek. He held her longer, saw the panic creeping up before he relaxed his grip and let go.
Alex pulled back, coughed and flinched in pain. She took some deep breaths, leaned careful forward, stuck out her tongue and started to clean his cock. Someone had trained her well.
With one finger Jack followed the tears that were flowing freely now. “There is more to come. Get up.”
Steadying her with a firm grip on her arm he helped her get up. Her legs trembled, she felt the movement inside her, destroying her even more. As more than once before she tried to ignore the pain, but she did not succeed.
“Come on”. Jack tucked her arm and she took one step forward. The pain was tortuous and she screamed again, stumbled. One more small step, another one. More tears were flowing, she was panting.
“Can you feel them?” Jack patted the two small bits outside her body which made her groan in agony again. “Does this feel good?” He pressed the handle hard against her clit and rubbed. Alex gasped in surprise and pain and Jack nodded. “Just a few more steps. You can do it.”
His voice was soothing again and Alex stopped, leaned against him. He held her close, felt her trembling body. “Just a minute”, she murmured and he nodded. The pain must be intense. He had never been able to make her scream before. And she had never shown signs of weakness.
“Just a few more steps, to that tree over there. You can lean on it. Time for another fag.” She nodded, steadied herself. “Let's go.”
Head held high, eyes fixed on the tree she took one step after the other. Each step accompanied by a ragged, heavy breath. She groaned in pain, nearly a growl, bit her lip and took the last step, let herself collapse to the tree trunk.
Jack lit a cigarette and placed it between her lips. “You have earned it.” Still trembling she nodded, inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.
With a sad smile Jack left her and strode over to his back. Two ropes and the knife left. He took one rope and the knife, turned around.
Even from afar he could see that she was in pain. The movement hat caused more blood to flow down her legs. All the plans he had made. She should be able to last some more hours, growing weaker and in pain all the time.
Slowly he made his way back. Ash had fallen on her tit and he brushed it aside. Jack took the cigarette from her lips and kissed her. Even now, in pain, weakening, her kiss was passionate. Or was it desperation that made her respond like she did?
Sometimes – in the moments before she started to cry – he had thought that he could feel her desperation. A longing for... he did not know.
Did it matter? Now?
Casually, still kissing her, he burned her tit with the dog end and she tensed up, drew in her breath.
“Do you want it to end?” he murmured between their lips and she drew her head back. He saw the pain in her eyes, the pleading. Alex opened her mouth but just nodded.
“Such a shame. I wanted to spend the rest of the day with you.” His hands wandered over her body. Not like a man killing the woman in front of him but like a lover. “We could have so much fun.” Taking in her appearance he chuckled. “Well I could have.”
She licked her lips, closed her eyes again. She was dying, but slowly. She knew he was right. This could go on for hours. Hours that would seem like eternity.
Jack pulled her in his arms for one more long, hard kiss. “Maybe I love you”, he said under his breath. “I want to fuck you one more time. While you are still alive but dying.”
He let go of her and took the rope.
“I want to see you, feel you. I will be the last thing you see, feel.” “Yes, Sir”, she whispered, opened her eyes again.
“Let's give you some support at least.” Slowly he tied her to the tree. The ropes trailed around her breast, still exposing her small tits. There was no struggle, no resistance as he tied the knot an stepped back.
“Look at you. Helpless, weak, dying. I could leave you like this." Her eyes widened and a panicking look appeared on her face. “I want to fuck you but both your holes are stuffed. One could even say 'destroyed'. What pleasure can there be for me?”
“Please” It was just a whisper. Her lips moved more but he could not hear a sound.
He went over and kissed her again. “You have been on the streets so long and now you start to panic when I threaten to leave you alone?” he whispered in her ear, starting to unbutton his pants.
His hard cock brushed against her hard abdomen. She was filling up with blood. Even slower he reached for his knife. “Just finding the right spot.” Pre-cum left a small smear on her skin as he withdrew.
He looked deeply in her eyes as he placed the tip of the blade on that spot. A faint smile appeared on her lips again as she felt it prick her skin. “Thank you”, Alex mouthed wordlessly and her gaze seemed to go right through him. “Fast and hard, just as you like it.” And he drove the knife home.
Her head tilted back, she grunted in agony. Jack probed with the knife, widened the entry wound. Blood was rushing out. More than the had expected. “Just a bit more”, he hissed through clenched teeth. “Now I can fuck you.” He pulled the knife out, let it fall in the grass. And he slid his cock in the wound.
It felt weird... slippery, warm, next to no resistance. His cock brushed one of the batons and he moaned.
Alex tossed around in pain, leaned against the ropes. Panting and groaning Jack fucked her. Even in his frenzy he felt her getting weaker, her movements stopping.
“I love you”. The whispered words reached his brain without warning, sent s shiver down his spine. In return he moaned louder, fucked her harder.
Alex head rolled to one side, rested on her shoulder. The green eyes were open, staring unseeing in the distance.
With a grunt Jack climaxed, shot his load deep inside into her dying body. Panting he stood there, leaned against her. The pain must be horrible but she was silent, did not move. Then the faint smile - Sad, he realized, that was what it had been – appeared. It looked nearly happy, content. Her lips moved again but he did not catch the words. He held her close. Close that he could feel her die, that she could feel him.
Eventually her eyelids fluttered, closed. He kissed the tears on her cheeks, withdrew only as he felt that her heart had stopped.
Alex was dead.
“Alex MacDonald.” Jack raised his glass for a silent salute. “I am sure she found peace at last.” “Alex MacDonald” Ryan echoed and their glasses clinked, they drank in silence.
She was running. She ran when she was angry, when she was sad, confused, hurt. But now... she was not only running. She was running to him.
He was waiting with his arms wide open and she flew in his embrace. Tears were flowing as they kissed. “I was waiting for you”, he whispered hoarsely.