Sometimes our biggest hurt and disappoint may be the fire we need to prevail.
It was barely after Christmas and they already had a shit ton of valentine’s day decorations and candy strewn about every damn store. I had grown to hate that fabricated holiday. Crazy, because I used to be that guy that would go all out for the day. I was fast approaching the second solemn lonely February 14th, and third since I had been ruined. Ruined was possibly and understatement but it is what it is. I was madly in love at the time. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done to prove just that. And that day was day was supposed to be perfect.
I had a decadent outing planned, and I had been waiting on the day for months to be honest. I pump faked like I was going to work that day. But I was putting all the final touches on my master plan. Nothing was going to be awry on this day. We had been together for almost two years and thou who shall remain nameless was my everything. That day was going to solidify my stance as to where she stood in my life and what I wanted with her. I made my rounds that day with the biggest smile on my heart. The rose petals had been laid out all over the suite. I had dropped the chef the key to the Suite so there was no delay. I went and picked up her dress and my suit for the night. Shit was just too perfect. I had headed back to the house to surprise bae about fifteen after the hour of 11. Her first 2 dozen roses should have been delivered about 45 minutes prior. I was so wrapped up in my grand scheme I didn’t even stop to think how she hadn’t hit me all day. As I pull up to our apartment, the excitement was bubbling over. I was ready to whisk her away for her massage, facial and just all out pampering.
I made it upstairs to 603B, butterflies filled me. I was convinced she was going to meet me at the door with the biggest smile and hug. I opened the door and was welcomed with an eerie silence. Maybe she was in the tub soaking. The only hint I had given her as to the festivities I had planned was to be prepared to be swept off her feet. The candles were lit, the house smelling like vanilla and a hint of lavender. I checked the mail that was on the counter as I passed the kitchen. I heard her voice from the backroom. I smiled and made my way to her sweet melody. I slowly opened the room door and scanned the room, she wasn’t in the bed, so I went to the bathroom. I could tell the water had not too long ago been turned off. The mirror still brandished a thick steam coating along the top. I walked to my side of the bed and saw a set of clothes unfamiliar to me. I looked the slide door leading to the balcony I saw her white robe on the floor. I precariously walked over and pulled the blinds back. What my eyes focused upon ripped my heart out of my chest. She was knelt between his legs on her knees, with a mouthful of him. My body kept me frozen in place. I couldn’t bear to watch her service this random like she had serviced me only hours before. I was in complete shock. A million things ran thru my mind all at once. I wanted to cry, laugh, scream out. Hell, I even thought about my nine in the closet. After what seemed to be an eternity I peeled myself from the glass unbeknownst to either of them. Threw a bag of shit together quick and bounced. I left a note:
Hey Tracey,
I just wanted to let you know that I never had a gift like this. This will be with me for a lifetime, I hope you know. I never would have thought I would be kicked in the dick so hard, let alone by you. You were my queen, the reason the sun rose in the east and set in the west; let me tell it. So quickly everything became nothing. But it was all your choice. At any rate fuck you very much, for everything and clearly nothing.
I locked the sliding door just as she mounted this nigga I taped the note to the window. I pushed the blinds back enough so she could see me. The look on her face was utter disbelief. She was trying to hop off but I was out. Fast forward two, just about three years, here I am approaching damn Valentine’s Day again. The last two have been lackluster and that’s an over statement. I can count on one hand how many dates I had been on since that day. That shit made me hardcore. I had no intention on trying at another relationship. We could kick it here or there and not on no, consistent shit either.
That was until she moved in across the street 4 months or so ago. See I had moved into the city and was in apartment C of the brownstone and happened to catch her on moving day. She was brown skinned, short cut like Nia on Friday almost, and her smile was brighter than Time Square at midnight. I hadn’t been smitten like this in what felt like ages. I kept my distance and had done so for months. But the what if game in my head had gotten real old. We all know curiosity had killed the cat I was sure to be the next victim. I was hesitant in my approach. Outside of the times we were out on the street at the same time, I only caught glimpses of her silhouette on the nights I’d sit in my window. It was there I decided I would take a stab at her the next day. It was a blistering morning but I went thru with my plan. I left out for work a hair earlier than normal so I could make my first move. I stuck a sticky note on her wind shield.
Hello,
I wish I knew your name. But I find you very attractive and I would really like to get to know you. I know this is different but I’m a bit shy but I had to try something to get your attention.
P.S. If you’re interested leave a note back here tomorrow.
I wasn’t confident I would get a response in the least bit. But that didn’t stop me from pondering what her possible response would be if she even gave one. I wrestled with if I had even taken the right approach. I kind of felt lame, but I had been out the game so long I wasn’t sure I could just go up and talk to her like. I wrecked my brain all day about this. I ended up grabbing a drink at the bar up the block on the way home. I had a couple and made my way in. the liquor in my system took the edge off, which was great. I noticed her car was back in place and the note was no longer on the windshield. I hustled into the house as though if she would have saw me, she would have known I was the mystery man behind the note. I was really trippin’ out. I order Chinese and peered out the window a few times, but only to see the very silhouette that had me going thru all this madness. Somewhere in the disarray of my thoughts I managed to slip into a slumber. I woke up the next morning unsure whether I should be excited or just await the inevitable. I did my normal routine and headed for the door. I walked over to the car and saw a return note.
Hello,
I am Machelle, this is certainly odd but I consider myself a deferrer, so why not play along. I too don’t have a name for you. And I will do you one better, I love sports how’s about you?
I looked around 3 minutes too late like I couldn’t already have been made. I darted back across the street and up to my apartment. I had to pen the next note to her, knowing I was probably going to be late. But how in the Sam hell could I not respond to her promptly. I scrabbled around looking for my note pad in my hast. I found it on the kitchen counter.
Hello Machelle,
First off, I’m glad and honestly shocked you responded. My name is DePaul. Sports are, were instrumental in my life coming up. I love them. Are you a Knicks or Nets fan? What other things do you fancy?
I put the not in a different spot on the windshield than where she had her note. Hopefully she would notice when she came out this morning. I was eager to get off that afternoon I had no clue that I’d have another note waiting for me. She had it under the left wiper blade and I had used the right one that morning. I guess that would be our indicator. I surveyed my surrounding before swiping my not and crossing the street. The allure of the entire of the situation had me hype.
Good day,
DePaul huh? I like that. What sport did you play? And I fancy many things but mainly I’m a foodie, I love the beach, history intrigues me as well. How about you? BTW this whole note thing is just too cute.
Hey there,
Aww shucks you like my name. I played baseball and basketball, I dabbled in soccer but that was too much running for too little points. History, what’s your favorite era in time? I like history as well but I am more of a science guy. What kind of music you into miss lady?
We exchanged notes for two weeks, and I was rather content. I mean I wanted her but