This is my first gay story, if you wish a continuation or if you have suggestions/wishes, feel free to ask
My name is Chris, I am 20 years old and I am rather the low-key type of a gay slut. I am small, slender and pale and got long, curly black hair, meaning that I look weak and a little vain, I talk big when I am with friends and they just take me as a funny egomaniac - no one would suspect what I am doing at nights.
In this story, I want to talk about how I became who I am.
Part 1 - Discovery
When I first discovered sexuality, I was always fascinated by the female perspective of sexuality.
A man just pleases his needs on a woman, no matter if he thrusts her pussy until he busts or if she sucks his meat until he releases his lust into her mouth.
A woman on the other side is always not only a lover, but an object of lust. Whenever it comes to sexuality, women are degraded and objectificated and when they have sex, they approve to become an object to satisfy their lover, no matter if they let a dick slide into their cunt or into their mouth.
At least that is what I thought at this time - later I learned that man and woman can be coequal in love and lust, still this is not how I like to have sex.
Because of this fascination a little femininity always accompanied me on my way to reach maturity.
When I first noticed that I had a boner, I thought that my dick would turn into a pussy, and the longer I kept this thought, the less frightening it got. It was the same the first few times masturbating, after orgasming I feared to turn into a woman because of it.
After watching porn the first time, I wondered how it would be to take the part of the woman - sometimes I imagined to be some kind of classy hooker who would do all kinds of naughty stuff to her lovers.
For some reason, I never watched gay porn though, I actually thought it was gross - maybe because I didn't want to realize what I had to do. So I stayed with my female fantasies and did something I am not proud of. When I discovered sex chat rooms I pretended to be a girl to role-play with the men. For years I was the horniest whore on there and satisfied countless of mostly elder men... this taught me a lot about my desires, the desires of normal horny men and how to please them. Because I was really ashamed about lying (but not about degrading myself!) I stopped. Instead I started exploring my body more precise. I already knew how I could use my penis to please myself, now it was time to learn my asshole.
You know, when I first touched my penis I firstly thought it was gross and nasty, but the more practice I had, the more pleasant it got. It was the same with my asshole. First I bent over in the shower and let the water play with my pink ass, then I got more brave and let my fingers play with it after I soaped it, then I slowly inserted a first finger, a second, a third and loosened it up. In my room I found a plastic object almost shaped like a dildo, so I put it into a plastic bag and slowly inserted it into my dry anus until it was all in. I could feel it through half of my body and with a little muscle contraction I could also push it out again, always petting my intestinal walls. It was hard to please myself like this as I was dry as the desert but I liked it. I anyway fancied oral sex above anal sex and to complete my degradation I lied down on my back and put my hips in the air so that my rock hard dick was right above my face. I fapped and fapped, closed my eyes, opened my mouth and got my tongue out, imagined a dick fucking my face and in this moment I came, felt the dildo deep between my legs and jizzed furiously on my tongue and into my mouth. My love for the gross, bitter milk could not be hidden any further.
I started to read hentais which played a central role in my development. Intrigued by the optic charme they imparted simple scenes like a woman on her knees sucking cock I wanted more - and found stories about men physically turning into women and exploring their new sexuality. I searched for written stories going more into detail about the journey and sooner or later I was settled with gay stories. Men renouncing their masculinity to become not a woman, but a bitch, worth less than a woman as they didn't have a juicy pussy, just a mouth and an ass to please their fuckers. A fate I had in mind for myself.
I practiced, every day I spent half an hour on my knees while reading gay submission to learn my place. I learned how to clean my body for sex, especially anal sex, I bought thick sausages to practice sucking and deepthroating until I handled 20 cm, I let my hair grow and studied female clothing, as I'd love to become a cross-dressing faggot. Whenever I looked into the mirror, I didn't hate my body for being so weak anymore, I loved it for being perfect for my future sex life.
That way, I could return to the chat rooms, this time as a dick-loving sissyboy, and the chatters loved me. Online I could suck dick and get fucked up and jizzed on and when I was done, I was proud of myself. Someday I could do it in real life.
Years went by, I matured and finished school and I always stayed low-key, nobody suspected a thing about me. When I turned 18 I decided that when I started to go to college I would also start the real deal.
Part 2 - Exploration
I was standing on the hallway for 10 minutes and struggling with myself until I finally rang the bell. My lips were pressed together and in this moment, I was ashamed. What was I doing here? The narrow hallway was illuminated only by dim, orange-red light making it look like a cheap brothel, the people wandering the stairs from time to time looked like crack junkies. Was this really what I wanted? I deliberated if I should flee, but in this moment the door opened and a young white man, maybe 5 years older than me, neat and muscular opened the door. The only fact that didn't make him look out of place was that he had the appearance of a high quality bone breaker.
"You came early," was all he said.
The words "Heh, I just hope you won't 'come' early!" slipped out of my mouth. Then I panicked - what if he wasn't the man who invited me? I would have outed myself to a total stranger who could easily beat me to death! Most certainly he couldn't laugh about what I said.
"Are you Chrissy?" he asked in a semi-interested voice.
"Uhm, yes..." I gulped.
"Come in, little."
He opened the door for me and introduced me into his flat which heavily contrasted it's environment. It was clean and comfortable, had some pictures and flowers as decoration and didn't look like a thug's living place at all.
"As you see, I am used to lady visitors," he grinned.
"Well, I'm not..."
"Stop protesting little, you know my desires, don't you?" he interrupted me.
I nodded. I started looking for adventures on the internet and when I found him, we had an intense chat about sexual preferences.
"You were a serial womanizer until you realized that bitches were boring - the true deal are guys like me, losing our masculinity and turning to submissive sluts."
"Bitch, don't act as if you were the pearl I was searching - There is a lot of waste swimming the sea and you are part of it, understood?"
I pressed my lips together and nodded.
"Now go into your room, there you'll find your makeup and cloths - don't worry, they are laundered."
He pointed on a closed door and sat down in the living room, my heart raced as I drew closer to "my room". The time had come when I could finish my transformation and finally receive my first dick.
I entered the room and found it to be full of mirrors. There was a bed, a closet and a dresser - and mirrors everywhere so I could see my work. I rubbed my hands in anticipation, stripped nude, my body was all prepared, there was no hair on it and my ass was ready. I looked what I found in the closet - a lot of sexy cloths, all of them smelt freshly washed and I would have loved to try them all but in the end I decided for a basic bitch outfit. White thong, a couple of white push-up bras, a loose white shirt that left a little belly viewable and black stockings, white sneakers. How many sissyboys had he fucked while they wore this? How many cum had to be washed out? I went over to the dresser and handled the makeup, I put on purple lipstick, smoky eyes and nail polish, smoothened my skin and painted over my eyebrows. Then I took a look in the mirror. I looked just like a stupid slut - perfect! I spent time watching my chubby butt contrasting my else slender figure and my hair framing my slut face until I decided that it was time.
I opened the door again and found him on the couch, eagerly awaiting me.
"Wow, you do look like a slut - most sissies are more into the princess look!"
"Guess I'm not a princess... I am a baaad girl," I tried to fit my role.
"Maybe you are a pearl after all. You know what? I can't call you little now. I'll just call you Chrissy, babe."
"Mmhmm, thank you very much for that... how can I return the favour?"
He tapped on his thighs, "Get on my lap, Chrissy."
I smiled and obeyed, placing my butt on his body, pressing against his crotch and turning my head over my shoulder. He hugged and rocked me, smelled on my shoulder.
"You smell citrus fresh, Chrissy."
"And... do you like it?"
"It fits you well."
Slowly I felt an erection building up, and he got hard as well. His dick pressed against my butt cheeks, making me cramp my legs a little and I had to remember to relax again. His strong hands grabbed my push-up bras and he put his chin on my shoulder and whispered into my ear,
"Would you like to have real tits?"
"I wish I was a real girl."
He laughed. "You are not a man for sure, Chrissy!"
His hand wandered below my shirt and started to tease my belly, his finger nail circled my belly button and his left hand rubbed the side of my waist.
"Is it true that you are a virgin?" he asked.
"Yes, I have never fucked a girl before and I also wasn't fucked by a man."
"Don't lie to yourself, Chrissy. You are never going to fuck a girl... you just love cock and you will please men forever!"
His cock made the appearance that it couldn't await to be pleased any longer, it quite hassled me down there.
"Yeah, talking of which, when do I get to finally suck? Your? Cock?" I asked impatient.
"You whore can't await it, eh? Come on, turn around."
I did as he said and kneeled on the couch, my crotch pressing against his, he put his hands on my head, the thumbs on my neck and leaned in to kiss me. I opened my lips for my first kiss and let his warm, wet tongue explore my mouth and make love to me. I was passive and he dominated the kiss, taking control of me and making my hormones drive me crazy. He pulled out his tongue and spoke,
"Now you are allowed to suck me off, Chrissy."
He gave me a single spank, I grinned slided down to the ground, kneeling as I had practiced. He stood up to have his crotch right in my face.
"Say the words and you are free to go."
I gulped - I had reached the point of no return. This would initiate my new life.
"I am not a man. I miss every aspect of masculinity that was desirable. I am a bitch. I am just fuckmeat worth less than a woman. So please let me suck your cock like the slut I am!"
"Good girl. Start going."
With trembling fingers, I unzipped his pants, all the while seeing the purple nail polish I had put on. Excitedly I smiled up to him, trying to stay calm as his trousers slowly went down his legs leaving him in his boxers with his boner clearly visible. I am no real woman, but at this point my panties got wet from my horny sweat. I bit my purple lips while pulling down his boxers, seeing more and more of his dick until the whole 22 cm jumped out to threaten me. I took it in my hands and was astonished by its powerful beauty. I reached my goal. At first, I just jerked it while it was dry, but I tried to proceed like I always imagined in the chat rooms. I stuck out my tongue and touched the glans but immediately flinched. It was my first taste of cock, I realized. I proceeded to tickle his cock with my tongue and moved forward and forward until I reached his balls. I opened my mouth and sucked them in and while I pleased him like this I jerked his cock manually. His cock blocked my view to his face but I could hear him moaning in lust. 'Enough warmup,' I decided and let his balls smack out of my mouth.
"You want me to suck your cock so bad? Great! I can't wait to taste it!"
The moment of truth. I held the meat in one hand, only centimeters away from my mouth. I opened my lips and looking into his eyes I slowly pulled my mouth over his cock. I sucked and finally tasted the meat I had waited years for, so I held it in mouth for several seconds and just sucked only to enjoy it. I accepted the life as a cocksucker. Slowly I started to jerk him again, this time using my hand and bobbing my head up and down. I wetted his cock with saliva and gave head in a quick and steady rhythm, never breaking eye contact. I could see him enjoying it, he moaned and petted me and let me suck until my mouth was all hot and filled with sour taste.
"You are doing great, Chrissy. Sucking like a professional hooker, you bitch. Now show me that you aren't as worthless as you seem and deepthroat me nicely!"
I stopped sucking and just coughed and nodded, as I was not fit enough to speak anymore.
"Stupid bitch, are you tired already? You shouldn't have become a cocksucker if you can't take this!"
He gave me a painful slap on my cheek, I am sure it turned all red. "Now say it, what are you gonna do?"
"I will deepthroat your mighty cock like the good slut that I am," I coughed.
"Don't let me wait, bitch!"
I opened my mouth wide and let it slide over his rod another time, this time I didn't stop where I did before but tried to fit the whole shaft into my throat. It was painful and I had to cough, but I had trained for this. Slowly I saw his crotch coming closer as his cock entered my throat, with sweat and tears I got evermore cock into me until my lips touched the base skin. I felt my own cock fighting against the fabric of my thong, tired and on the edge of an orgasm. I rolled my eyes to see his face, but I couldn't. I was alone with my achievement of deepthroating my first cock. But I didn't care, he didn't matter - all that was important to me was his cock. I really am no man, I am just a cock-loving sissy slut and I was proud of my shame.
"Now go forth and back, make me cum!"
I coughed and choked but I managed to let up to 5 centimeters slip out just to ram them in again. I repeated and repeated this painful task until I noticed how my throat loosened up. I could get faster and more certain, every bobbing was larger than the preceding and I reached the point where my throat got properly fucked by this cock until I got almost all of it in every bob, I pleasured him hard, fast and deep with my abused sissy throat. His cock began twitching in me and he moaned,
"I'm gonna cum, Chrissy! Be a good girl and swallow all of it!"
I let his cock rest in mouth and used my hand to jerk him to the end, I stuck out my tongue and let him finished. He groaned as his cock released hard shots of cum into my slut mouth and as I tasted the bitter juice my own cock started to jerk and squirt its cum into my panties. I moaned and gargled his bitter cum, it tasted like he had several beers earlier this day. I let my tongue hang down so his cum would flow over it, I smiled with my open mouth, got my tongue back in and swallowed my reward like the submissive slut I was. Sucking his cock clean from the rest of his cum I was happy with my new life in feminine submission.
"Good girl, you can stop now."
I leaned back and spread my legs, "Look how wet you've made me!"
He laughed, "Wow, you are one pathetic bitch! Cumming just from sucking cock!"
"Your cock is one delicious meat," I smiled licking cum from my fingers, "I hope I can taste it again!"
"You can bet on that, bitch. But now piss off."
I stood up, dropped a courtsey and strutted into my room, where I got back dressed as a guy. In the bathroom, I cleaned my face from the makeup and my fingers from the nail polish and was now disguised as a normal guy. The only difference was that I wasn't the same person I was before. I still tasted the cock and the cum and was already hyped for my next blowjob. But for the moment, it was the best to just leave the flat and return to normal.
___
This was two years ago. In the meantime, a lot has happened and I have lost my last bit of masculinity. I have experienced so much in my life as a sissyboy and fuckmeat and I wouldn't trade it for anything. To me women are not more than a role model of grace, the role I have to fulfill to give head and get fucked in the ass. And I love to suck cock above all else.