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Introduction:

A beautiful romance in the streets of a lost city.
When I took (and flunked) Latin in my freshmen year at high school, we studied a textbook that had sort of a “Roman soap opera”, which took place before the Vesuvius eruption. Studying the lifestyle and culture of the people of Pompeii is what inspired this. A lot of this is probably inaccurate, but I hope you enjoy.



Pompeii, 79 AD:

“Tell me, are you a slave?” Arcadias asked, sitting on the bed in the small chamber of the brothel. However, the stone bench with a flimsy cushion could barely be called that. The woman he was speaking to was standing in the corner with her back to him, slowly undressing and finger-combing her dirty-blonde hair.

“Excuse me?” she asked, turning to him.

Arcadias sighed, hearing the answer in the form of her accent and the pain in her voice. Reaching into the small bag hanging from his belt, he drew a few silver coins and stood up, handing them to the slave girl. “If they ask, you were perfect. But I won’t force you to do this, I can’t in good conscience make a young woman be with yet another man she doesn’t know and doesn’t love.”

He stepped out into the hall, leaving the bewildered woman behind. To the surrounding sounds of flesh against flesh, men grunting in selfish satisfaction, and women feinting gasps and moans of consensual pleasure, Arcadias maneuvered his way through the brothel and stepped outside and into the street of the glorious city of Pompeii. He was twenty two years old with medium height for a man of his age and the shadow of a beard with short, wavy hair. He had moved to Pompeii several years ago, having been disowned by his family and now forced to rely on his wits when he used to have his father’s wealth to fall back on.

He preferred it this way, being on his own, as he had learned enough from his father about the rules of business to get a foothold in Pompeii the day he had arrived, not to mention that he crafty enough to know how to get what he wanted. Now that he was on his own, he could truly test his skills in the real world and earn a living for himself. With what money he had and his well-acquired skill in gambling, he had managed to win possession of a trading company that worked in the local harbor, ensuring a steady and very respectable income. To anyone else, this would be a true blessing from the gods, but to Arcadias, it was just a way to make a living.

He was done with work earlier than usual this day, all of his ships having yet to return from their deliveries or to bring goods to Pompeii. Now he had nothing to do and was merely wandering around the city, trying to think of something that would occupy his time. In truth, this was a daily trial for him, as even with his business and prodigious wealth, he loathed Pompeii and the Roman Empire in general, but it was only in this culture that he knew how to live. It held the customs that he had grown up in and knew. True, for someone who had a talent for making money, a busy city like Pompeii was like the most fertile of fields in the possession of an expert farmer, but not when the main consumer of the people’s wealth sickened him.

Having reached the pier, Arcadias watched as a ship entered the harbor and was tied up to the dock.

“Hail Arcadias Clemens Lucian, the new wealth of Pompeii! I am Syphax, an ally of those with money to spend!” a man hollered, stepping down from his ship and raising his hand to Arcadias.

With bright, colorful robes and a tradesman’s mustache, Arcadias already knew what the man was selling.

“It seems you know me, well before you say anything, I’m telling you here and now that I’m not interested.”

“How can you say that? Everyone who sits upon the golden throne of their riches needs slaves! Who will clean your elegant house, cook your nightly feasts, and satisfy you long into the night?”

“I don’t believe in slavery, and if you know me enough to call out my name without having never met me, then you should know that there is nothing you have that I am interested in.”

“Spoken by someone who has not properly enjoyed the efficiency of a good and obedient slave. Please, at least see what I have to offer before you turn your back on this humble merchant. Bring them out!” Syphax pleaded with a fake smile, before shouting out to his men still aboard the ship.

Bound in chains with rags for clothes, several people were shuffled out onto the pier and forced into a line by the sailors working under Syphax.

“These slaves are from the Gaelic lands that the legions have conquered, and barbaric as they may be, they at least are able to understand human speech and will work themselves to death if you ask them to. They are perfect, the best tools brought to you solely by the best merchant!”

Arcadias looked down the line, feeling his stomach twisting itself into knots. There was nothing he hated more than slavery, it sickened him to see human beings being bought, sold, and used like lifeless objects. No matter where he went, slavery was still an unstoppable economic force and essentially a cultural law, though that wasn’t to say he didn’t fight back against it. The reason why his family had disowned him in the first place was because he had freed all of the slaves in the Lucian household, essentially costing the family a small fortune.

Arcadias walked slowly down the line, wishing he had enough money to buy them all their freedom. They were all so miserable, all light and hope drained from their eyes and their bodies covered in scars and bruises. But looking ahead, he was brought to an abrupt stop. At the end of the line was a young woman with skin that looked like marble and long jet-black hair that hid her downcast face. He walked over and stood in front of her, but she did not acknowledge him. He slowly reached out and wrapped his fingers around one of her delicate hands, causing her to look up at Arcadias and leave him breathless.

She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his entire life. Every detail of her face was flawless, from the slender bone structure of her cheeks to her pale but perfectly shaded complexion, which lacked even a single freckle or flaw. Her most prominent feature were her blue eyes, which were the shade of the ocean on a perfect summer day. She was more gorgeous than the goddess Athena, and not even the finest artists in Rome would be able to replicate her beauty on a canvas. He knew at that moment that he could not take even a single step from that spot if she wasn’t by his side.

“What’s your name? Do you understand me?”

“Ella. Yes sir, I understand,” she whispered.

Arcadias turned to Syphax and pulled a handful of gold coins out of the small bag hanging from his belt. “Syphax, here. Set her free,” he said, causing Ella and Syphax to look at him with disbelief.

“Are you saying that you’re buying her?” the merchant asked.

“No, I’m paying for her freedom. As of now, she is a feed slave and a citizen of Pompeii.”

Syphax shrugged and walked over, giving the order for one of his sailors to unlock Ella’s shackles, letting them fall to the floor and reveal the bruises and welts on her wrists.

“Ella, my name is Arcadias. I humbly ask that you may stay with me in my home as my honored guest. You won’t be a slave or servant, but a free woman, my equal.”

Ella looked back down at the ground and Arcadias realized that tears were rolling down her face, her trembling shoulders shaking the liquid pearls from her lashes.

“Don’t worry, it’s—” His words were halted as Ella rushed over and wrapped her arms around his neck, crying on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s ok,” Arcadias murmured as he embraced her slender frame.



Ella gazed in amazement at the beauty of Pompeii, of stone buildings and paved streets. Arcadias was waiting for her to be comfortable before asking about where she had come from, but just from the look on her face, he knew that her homeland trailed behind the Roman Empire in architecture, beauty, and civil engineering.

“We should get you some new clothes. You deserve more than these rags,” Arcadias said with a comforting smile as they walked down the street.

“Thank you, Master,” Ella said softly.

He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked at him innocent eyes.

“Ella, you are free now. I’m not your master, just your friend.”

“Regardless of my freedom, you paid for me and that makes me your property. Until I have worked off my debt to you, you are my master. Besides, being a slave is all I know. I’ve lived my whole life as property. I’ve always addressed someone as my Master of Mistress.”

Arcadias cocked his head to one side as he analyzed her tone. There was no sadness or dread in her voice. Instead, there was nervousness. She wasn’t dreading the situation; she was nervous, almost as if it were too good to be true.

“Just answer me one thing: Are you doing this out of forced obligation, or do you honestly want to repay you’re debt?”

“I want to repay my debt to you.”

“Very well, whatever makes you happy. But if I can’t convince you that I am not your master and you are not a slave, at least believe me when I say that I want to take care of you and make you happy.”

“Yes, Master. I will,” she said, not only humbly, but gratefully.



Walking through Pompeii, Arcadias watched as Ella slowly warmed up more and more. With each step she took and each word she murmured with her cherubic voice, the nervousness and fear in her eyes was removed like the drying dew in the rising sun, and a gentle, hesitant smile ever so slowly was etched onto her lips. Glad to see her unwinding, he grasped her hand when they reached a large clothing stand, owned by a dozing merchant and stocked with fabrics of all types and colors, as well as sandals of all sizes.

“I want to most elegant and comfortable clothes for this young woman, as well as a pair of sandals,” Arcadias said, holding up a gold coin.



Passing through the main entry hall, they entered the atrium of Arcadias’s home, a high-class domus, won in a dice game. The house was built as two joining rings, one smaller than the other, like an 8. In the center of the room was a sunken pool of water, collected from the rain that fell through the open skylight above, creating the smaller ring. The last inhabitant had removed his art and furniture, but could not take away the frescos painted into the plaster when the house was built, coloring the walls with scenes of nature and Roman life. Arcadias had stocked the room with a few couches and tables, simply to take up some empty space. Along the sides of the atrium were entrances to the bedrooms, kitchen, and dining room, all with sheets of the fabric hanging in the doorways, and across from the entrance was the tablinum, the study for the master of the household, situated in the very center of the home between the two rings. On either side of the study were hallways leading to the second ring, situated around a courtyard and garden.

As they stepped into the atrium of Arcadias’s home, Ella gazed in amazement.

“Welcome to my home, and it is yours too for as long as you like.” Arcadias said as he walked over to the couch and put down the clothes he had bought for her.

He looked back at Ella. Once again, she seemed quite nervous. It was obvious she had never had never lived in a good home.

“Hey, how about we see if those clothes fit?” Arcadias asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Ella smiled and walked over to the pile of clothes on the couch. With absolutely no hesitation, she grasped the collar of her dress and pulled it open, revealing her breasts. They were large for a malnourished girl like her, but not so large that Arcadias had noticed them before. His brain took control of his body before his manhood could and he rushed over and put his hands on her shoulders.

“Ella, are you sure you wouldn’t be more comfortable changing in the guest room?”

As Arcadias spoke the words, he could almost feel his phallus reaching up and smacking him in the back of the head for talking.

“What do you mean?” she asked, completely unaware of the situation.

“I just think it would be more proper if I weren’t here when you undressed.”

His brain was tearing itself apart as his sense of manners fought his sexual urges.

“It’s ok, my body belongs to you, Master,” she murmured with a look of peace on her face.

As Arcadias sat down in a nearby chair, Ella continued to pull her dress off her shoulders, fully exposing her round breasts. She shook her hips from side to side as she pulled the fabric down her slender waist. His eyes were fixed on every curve of her body and every inch of her naked flesh. He could barely keep his jaw from hanging open.

She kept her thighs pressed against each other, hiding her flower from him, but allowing him to see just the slightest patch of pubic hairs. Common sense told him that she did it out of instinct or habit, but Arcadias was beginning to suspect that it was actually a tease. Once she pushed it down to her knees, she let it go, and it fell down to her ankles. As she stood back up, she ran her fingertips up the side of her smooth thigh.

By now, Arcadias’s cock was so hard that he could have used it as a mace and smashed through a legionnaire’s shield. He had to keep the bulge in his pants hidden, wishing he was wearing a toga over his street clothes. Ella turned to him, finally giving him a good view of her gates of paradise. The lips as soft as flower petals, and the wet pink interior was just barely visible. Standing naked before him, Ella looked at her master with a very nervous but happy expression on her face, her pale cheeks now red in embarrassment.

“Master, I just want to thank you again for everything you’ve done for me. No one has ever been so kind to me,” she murmured.

The amount of sweet and gentle emotion in her voice overwhelmed Arcadias’s throbbing sexual drive, and replaced it with a deep caring for her. She seemed like a pup in the rain, and he just had the urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her close.

“You’re welcome, Ella,” he whispered with a warm smile.

Ella smiled and turned around. She bent down to pick up a yellow dress and Arcadias got a view of her rear that the gods would envy.



Arcadias watched Ella dress and undress half-a-dozen times as she tried on all of the outfits he had bought her, and frankly, her body is even more beautiful than her face. A few times, she would stop and cry for a few moments, but her tears were of pure joy. Once she had gone through everything, Arcadias stood up and stretched. It was the late afternoon.

“I’m going to stop by the bathhouse while the sun is still up. Your room is right behind you, please make yourself at home. I’ll be back soon, then I’ll prepare us some dinner.”

‘I’m going to need a cold bath,’ he thought to himself as he walked through the door.



Arcadias sat in one of the pond-sized baths, heated to the point where there was steam wafting from the surface. There were half a dozen more pools in the massive room and the walls were decorated with large paintings of goddesses and nymphs on beaches. On one side of the room was the entrance to the workout area, and on the other side was the entrance to the frigidarium, which held the cold baths.

“Hey Arcadias, I heard you got a new slave girl,” a friend of his said as he settled in the other side of the pool. Well, he wasn’t exactly a friend, more like a business acquaintance, and he was twice as old as Arcadias.

“Oh, hey Quintus. Well, slave girl might not be the proper term…”

“Well does she work hard? The new slaves from up north have no work ethic.”

“I wouldn’t know, seeing as how I set her free.”
“What? Already? Wow, the work ethic of those barbarians is even worse than I thought.”

“No, I mean that she was never my slave girl. I paid Syphax, the vendor, for her freedom.”

“Why’d you do that? I know you’re rich, but that’s just throwing money away.”

“I didn’t do it as a faceless charity. I did it because… I’m not sure why I did it. Just when I laid eyes on her… I knew that I wanted to protect her. I wanted to save her from the life of forced servitude.”

“Well what happened afterwards? Where is she?”

“She’s living with me as my guest. I’m letting her stay in my guestroom, and I just bought her new clothes today.”

“By the gods, Arcadias! If you wanted to get a taste of a woman so bad, you could have just hired a prostitute. You didn’t have to pay for a slave girl if you just wanted someone to “sharpen you gladius”. Besides, if you want to buy a sex slave, I know some sellers who go for way better prices than Syphax.”

“Damn it, weren’t you listening? I said that I paid for her freedom to protect her from that kind of life. I freed her because I didn’t want her to work as a slave all day and be raped all night,” Arcadias growled, Quintus’s words towards Ella infuriating him.

“Fine, sorry. Hey, where are you going?” Quintus asked as Arcadias climbed out of the pool.

“I’m going home, it’s getting late,” he said with anger evident in his tone.



Arcadias entered his come caught the odors of several delicious dishes. Ella stepped out of the kitchen and smiled when she saw him.

“Oh, dinner will be ready soon, Master.”

“I said that I would prepare dinner for you when I got back,” Arcadias said with a chuckle as he walked towards her.

“It is the duty of the servant to prepare the Master’s dinner,” she said with a bow of her head but a smile on her face.

He placed his hand on her shoulder and she looked at him. “Please, call me Arcadias. Now, what’s cooking?”

He looked into the kitchen and saw a large pot of stew hanging over the fire, a platter of roasted pork, and bowl of fruits and vegetables. Most rich families would have a slave working all day in the kitchen, but she had gotten this much done already?

“Sweet Daughter of Neptune, you can cook?”

“I learned how in my homeland,” she said with a blush.

They carried all of the food into the dining room, where several couches were grouped around a table. Lying down on the couches on opposite sides of the table, Ella and Arcadias ate with gusto. Frankly, it was one of the greatest meals he had ever eaten. Ella’s cooking was better than anyone else’ back home.

“Ella, this is absolutely delicious. By the way, you said that you learned how to cook in your homeland. Where exactly did you grow up?”

“I grew up in Germania, and was the daughter of a farmer. The summers in my homeland were so beautiful, every view was like beautiful mural,” she said dreamily, looking to the painted walls as if to compare them to her memories. Her smile slowly drooped, and Arcadias’s heart became chilled as a tear rolled down her cheek.

She sat up and shivered. “But when I was eight years old, Gaelic invaders killed my parents and I was sold into slavery. I became the servant of a clan leader who bought me to be the wife of his newborn son. For ten years, I toiled in the fields and halls of the leader’s home, every night collapsing from exhaustion and wishing my life would end, fearing the day when my master’s son would grow up and take me as his bride.

In truth, I was lucky to be chosen as the wife of the next clan leader. I was worked half to death, but my master made sure no one touched me. He didn’t want to give his son damaged goods. I had seen what Gaelic men did to their slaves, how the warlord and his warriors treated women. I was forced to watch as the strong would ravage and sodomize the weak. Several men would often gang up on one woman and violate her for hours on end. I had nightmares every night for the years I worked in servitude.

Then the Roman Legions came and slew the warlord and his forces. I thought that I would be set free, but instead, I just became a slave again. I was dragged to this city, expecting to be bought by some cruel man who would use me however he wanted. But instead, you came, and you gave me my life back. Strange as it may sound, I am truly blessed to remain as a slave, to remain as your slave.”

“You are not a slave,” said Arcadias as he looked into her beautiful blue eyes, “You are free. As of today, the right to choose who touches you has been given back, and no one can ever take it away.”



Arcadias stood in his candlelit bedroom, looking out the window. ‘It has been quite a day,’ he thought to himself as he saw the lanterns in the streets being lit.

“Master…” a soft voice cooed as Arcadias closed the shades.

He looked over to the entrance and saw Ella, wrapped in the curtain hanging in the doorway and standing in a white gown, a sweet smile on her face.

“Ella.”

“I know I already said this, but I want to thank you again for everything you have done for me. No one has ever been as kind to me as you have,” she said as she stepped into the room, standing between the door and Arcadias.

“You don’t need to thank me,” he said with a smile.

“Master, there is another thing I wanted to tell you…” she said as she walked over to him. She put her hands of his shoulders and he looked into her eyes. “Today you said that I regained the right to chose who touches me. Master, I choose you.”

Her face flushed with emotion, she pressed her soft lips against his, leaning against him. They kissed for several moments as Arcadias wrapped his arms around her. Once we finally separated, she moved one of her hands from his shoulder and placed it on his cheek.

“This whole day, I’ve been wondering why I did what I did and gave you your freedom, why I stopped when I saw you. Now I realize that it was love at first sight. I stopped when I saw you, because I was instantly in love with you.”

“I knew you loved me. When you asked me my name, I realized the same thing when I finally looked up at you. I cried because I was happy, but I cried on your shoulder because I knew that I loved you. Just to see your face, feel my hands enveloped by yours, it was all I needed. The real reason why I chose to continue to be your slave was because I wanted to be bound to you. If I accepted my freedom, then I knew you would always be expecting me to leave, but I never wanted that to happen.”

She moved her hands to the collar of her gown and pulled it open, letting it fall down to her ankles and exposing her naked beauty. She pressed herself against Arcadias and resumed kissing him.

“Today I told you that as my master, my body belonged to you. I say that again, not as your slave, but as your lover. Arcadias, my body belongs to you.”

She lied back on the bed as he undressed. He suspended himself over her as they kissed, with his fingertips exploring her beautiful body. He placed his hand on one of her warm breasts and gently squeezed, causing her to hum as they kissed. A bit more aggressive, he rolled the plump orb of flesh in his hand and pinched her nipple, sending a shiver of ecstasy through her body. He moved his hand down, dragging his fingertips down her slim belly, and she stopped kissing him once he reached her pubes.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, just please be gentle.”

“Don’t worry, I would never do something to make you uncomfortable.”

As they resumed kissing, Arcadias placed his index and middle finger on the lips of her slit, causing her hum loudly and shiver, more from the anticipation of what was to come rather than the actual touch. He began stroking the two soft wet lips and Ella’s thighs automatically clamped around his hand, but at the same time, she wrapped her arm around his neck, trying to pull him closer as their tongues wrapped around each other’s.

Arcadias placed one finger between the lips and pressed down, causing Ella to jerk. With his index and ring finger rubbing the lips, he skimmed the hot wet interior with his middle finger, just barely pressing down. He slowly pushed it in to the first knuckle and Ella moaned. He stopped kissing her and dragged his tongue up the side of one of her breasts, causing her to hum softly. Heightening her voice, he wrapped his lips around the nipple and pulled, savoring the taste and feel. As Arcadias sucked on her breast, he moved his finger into her pussy halfway, exploring her wet insides. Ella was moaning loudly and had her hands pressed against the headboard as if she was trying to hold it up.

This continued on for several minutes, Arcadias switching between her breasts while the movements of his fingers increased in speed and power, easing the stress in her body and opening the lips to show her pink sleeve. After several minutes, Arcadias began to move down, kissing her naked body. He held his face just inches from her gates of paradise, which was glistening from her arousal. He breathed in the fruity aroma and pressed his tongue against the soft lips, causing Ella to moan loudly, having never experienced anything like this. Arcadias pushed his finger and tongue up inside her, savoring the sweet taste of her juices. Ella was moaning loudly and squeezing her breasts as he explored her insides, using his probing finger to draw forth more of her nectar for him to lick up.

Her virgin flower was tight and sweet, and she had her smooth thighs pressed against the side of his face as if to keep him out, yet her moans, while devoid of words, begged him for more. Her thighs clamped around his head with incredible strength as she gave a loud high-pitched moan, with liquid arousal from her first orgasm flowing onto his tongue.

“Arcadias, I’m ready. Take me, I’m begging you!”

Arcadias nodded and once again suspended himself over her, the two lovers kissing kissing as he placed his hand on her cheek. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, I offer myself to you; mind, body, and soul,” she whispered with her voice filled with love and lust.

Arcadias gripped his manhood and guided it to the lips of her slit. She gasped as the head was slowly pushed in, and with his cheek pressed against hers and his arms around her slender frame, he slowly continued. Upon the insertion of the head, the two of them could feel the pressure on her hymen, ready to be crushed. Ella was breathing so hard that Arcadias almost thought she was crying.

“Ella, are you ok?”

“Oh God, yes. It feels so good. Just please, be gentle,”

“I will,” Arcadias said as he pushed his cock in another inch, deflowering the angel in his arms.

She cried out in a mix of pleasure of pain, and once she caught her breath, Arcadias pushed it in all the way, causing Ella to moan loudly. Once buried to the hilt, he slowly pulled out, revealing a crimson sheen on her member, proof of her taken virginity. After a few thrusts to get acquainted, they began to move back and forth in rhythm, Arcadias’s manhood being driven deeper and deeper into her and almost pulled out, only to be pushed back in.

They kissed as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Her slit felt unbelievable on Arcadias’s rock-hard cock, so hot, wet, and soft, almost like hearts of fruit. But even better than the physical feeling was the emotional sensation, the knowledge that they were linked in every way possible bringing them a form of bliss that neither had never imagined could exist. Arcadias had had a few women in his life, but intimacy with them never reached even half the level of bliss he was experiencing right now.

The bed shook and rocked with the strength of Arcadias’s thrusts, Ella’s moans of joy bouncing off the halls and echoing through the house, in tandem with the clapping of their bodies. The smell of sweat and frantic breath filled the room. Ella moaned and dug her fingernails into his back as she had a gushing orgasm, soaking Arcadias’s lap with her arousal. Arcadias put his arms under her back and sat on his heels, holding her up. Ella slowly bounced up and down on his cock as she kissed me and gripped his shoulders for dear life. She stopped kissing him and gained a very tender smile. He gazed into her eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Ella moaned and Arcadias grunted as they both had a simultaneous orgasm, him filling her womb with his seed. They collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavy with their bodies coated in a thin film of sweat. Arcadias rolled onto his side and looked into Ella’s beautiful eyes.

“I love you,” they both said at the same time before kissing.



On August 24th, 79 AD, Mt. Vesuvius erupted and buried the city of Pompeii under waves of burning ash. It was rediscovered and excavated in the mid 1800’s, and archeologists were ecstatic to find that the ash perfectly preserved everything in the city. Whenever they would come across a hollow space in the ash, they would know it was from a dead body that had decayed until being reduced to dust, and had left a cavity in the stone.

By injecting liquid plaster into the cavities, they were able to create perfect casts of the positions the people were in when they were killed. In the home of Arcadias Lucian, they came across the figures of two bodies, one on top of the other. From how the figures were positioned, how the two cavities were connected at the genital area, and by studying the artifacts in the room, archeologists have concluded that they were making love, and that they were celebrating their marriage.

A successful casting was made of the two connected lovers, and is one of the few that has been allowed to leave Pompeii. Archeologists say that Arcadias and Ella were making love for the last time because they knew that they were going to die, but most viewers of the Lovers Cast (as it is called) disagree, and say that as they were making love, they were so focused on each other that they had never even noticed the eruption. When hot ash burst through the doors and windows, they were instantly killed without even realizing it.

Many people dismiss this dream of fairy tail love, but the Lovers Cast remains as one of the most expensive and valuable artifacts and pieces of art in the world, for it’s emotional value.
9 comments

Anonymous readerReport 

2016-12-06 08:29:10
When u take a piece of history & polish it such that it glitters in the moonlight of doubt, then u are more than an artist ur'e a genius keep it up

Anonymous readerReport 

2016-12-01 14:52:07
When ur next story is coming out

Anonymous readerReport 

2016-11-22 16:39:32
When ur next story is coming sage,plz upload ur next story real fast

icefrodoReport 

2016-10-26 04:20:21
I liked it.
8/10
Some feedback:
-It is imaginative, poetic and descriptive. Extra points for originality: there are very few historical pieces on here.
-However, it lacks believability because the girl a) displays little to no shyness b) develops intense romantic feelings instantly.
-Also, the 'orgasm' happened very abruptly and was described very briefly.
-Describing the strength of the erection with ''so hard he could have used it as a mace and smashed through a legionnaire's shield'' made me laugh.
-The scene in the baths where Arcadias has a discussion with a fellow trader was irrelevant to the character delelopment and plot and felt distracting.

I understand it's tempting while writing to advance to the sex as quickly as possible, but that's a temptation to be resisted to avoid sacrificing believability. The more believable the story is prior to the sex, and thus the more the reader has been able to absorb into the story and feel for the characters, the hotter the sex.

Anonymous readerReport 

2016-10-25 04:32:36
Loved your story.
One little criticism: "that neither had never imagined could exist." should be: "that neither had ever imagined could exist."

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