continuation of Part 1 - Mike and Chen's relationship starts heating up, and Mike begins dealing with long buried social traumas from his upbringing and his dominating, overbearing parents
Chapter Six – Coalescence
BRRING BRRING BRRING!!
The telephone jarred Mike awake. He reached for the receiver, and answered with a half awake ‘hullo?’
‘Hey man – did you forget? You were going to give me a call after 6, remember? It’s almost 8 – I was worried about you!’ It was Chen, sounding genuinely concerned.
‘Hey – I’m - well I – well, I got home and was really tired – crashed to bed, and guess I’ve been here ever since – sorry’ Mike sleepily responded.
‘Well – are you awake enough to talk, or do you want to call me back later in the week?’ said Chen.
‘Let me give you a call – say – Tuesday evening – OK??’ Mike said, still sleepily slurring his words.
‘You sure you’re OK? You sound like you’re drunk or something – ‘ inquired Chen.
‘No – no – I’m fine – I just didn’t realize how tired I was – I’ll be fine’ – Mike was slowly becoming more alert.
‘OK – well if you say you’re good, I’ll say good night – and wait to hear from you Tuesday – OK??’ said Chen.
‘I had a really great time with you this weekend – a really great time’ said Mike. Chen replied ‘me too man – me too – take care of yourself, OK?’ Mike said ‘I will – talk Tuesday’ – and hung up the phone.
Mike got up – he’d slept almost 12 hours since he got home – it was dark outside, he was fully rested – and had to go to work the next day. There was no way he was going to get back to sleep now. He realized he was hungry – he half walked, half stumbled into the kitchen – grabbed a bowl, his favorite cereal, doused it with milk, grabbed a spoon, and headed for the sofa.
As he was sitting on the sofa, legs crossed beneath him, thoughts began to coalesce in his mind. First, he suddenly realized that he wasn’t tense right now – for the first time in a long time, he was sitting by himself, just himself – and he wasn’t tense – that was new. Ever since he’d moved away from home for his job, he’d been very uncomfortable being alone in his apartment – the silence was deafening if he didn’t have either the TV or stereo on, and invariably he’d get nervous enough that he’d drive over to the local mall to walk around, just to hear other people – and drown out the screaming emptiness within.
As he finished his cereal, he noticed that he felt somewhat invigorated – crap, what do I do with this energy at this hour of the night, he thought. He went back to his bedroom, put his clothes back on, and went outside.
It was a cool, clear night – no breeze, nice air temperature – and the stars were out. There was a park nearby, so Mike walked into the small park, found a bench, and sat down – it felt good – still, quiet, cool – odd, he thought – he normally didn’t like parks – but something inside said ‘stay – listen’ – he sat quietly, looking around – hearing the birds, the insects – he looked at the stars – and just gazed. He looked through the tree branches, and his focus narrowed – narrowed down to a small group of stars, so bright they almost appeared three dimensional against the velvety black background – as he gazed, a deep peace settled in – he rearranged himself so he could lean his head on the bench back, and just gaze at the star group without having to hold his head in position – deeper and deeper into the stellar calm he drifted as the stars, in their eternal blackness, flooded him with their calm, steady brilliance – he wondered if somehow, God had called him out here to look up and see these stars – and get something from them – connect with them – connect with Him – he wondered –
‘Sir – Sir – SIR!’
Mike jolted awake, and nearly fell off the bench. It was cold – he was cold – and there were two cops standing behind the bench.
‘Sir – you really shouldn’t be here this late – do you live around here?’ one of the officers asked as Mike tried to compose himself.
‘Yeah – yeah – just a few blocks away – guess I drifted off watching the stars’ said Mike – ‘by the way – what time is it anyhow?’
‘It’s about 1 AM sir’ said the other officer. ‘Would you like us to take you home?’
‘No – no – I’ll be fine – I live just over there in those apartments’ Mike pointed to his apartment building – ‘I’ll walk’
‘Suit yourself – but we’ll follow along just to make sure you get there, OK?’ said the first officer.
Mike started to walk home – he was chilled, and stiff, and his nose was stuffed up – guess the night air got to me, he thought as he walked. He put his hands in his pockets to get them warm – and felt Chen’s key in his right pocket. He hurried his pace to get his circulation moving, and got to his apartment. The officers in their patrol car watched as he opened his door, and he waved to them to signal he was OK – they drove off, and he went inside and closed the door.
Once inside, he pulled Chen’s key out of his pocket. He handled it like it was a precious jewel – slowly turning it over and over in his hands, puzzling over why someone who had known him for less than 48 hours had entrusted him with a key to their house – as he stood there puzzling over the key, he realized something – somehow, in his sitting out under the stars, the question of why he was feeling what he was feeling because of meeting Chen had completely dispersed – in its place, just a sense of ‘follow and see what comes next’ had taken its place – along with a great sense of calm and relief – as though some unseen force had opened a door, and beyond the door was a path – the path for him. He closed his eyes, clutched the key in his hands, and felt something amazing – comfort – he felt comfort. He went to his bedroom, undressed, got into bed, put Chen’s key on the night stand where he could see it – and drifted off into a deep slumber – the sleep of feeling his soul finally at peace.
Chapter Seven – The Dam Breaks
Mike sat on one of the bar stools around the island in the kitchen, sipping at a beer. Chen was in the bathroom, getting a quick shower before they went out for their now customary Friday night dinner. Mike and Chen had been seeing each other on an ever increasing basis for the past months – first at car events with dinners after, spending the night together at Chen’s house and part of the following day – then Friday night dinners, movies, or just sitting together at Chen’s house watching TV, sitting on the porch enjoying a drink and the night air, always winding up sleeping together – but no sex. Chen had made hints in that direction – playfully walking up behind Mike, playing with his nipples through his shirt, thrusting his groin into Mike’s backside, nibbling on his earlobe – always smiling and laughing while doing things – but never pressing, and understanding when Mike would quietly say ‘not yet – just – not yet, ok?’
Mike heard the shower turn off, and listened for the sounds of Chen going through his closet to find something to wear. His mind was racing – on the way over here tonight, he’d started having thoughts – strong, insistent thoughts – and images – images of him, old, alone – and alongside that, images of Chen – his gorgeous face, amazing eyes – smiling at him – just fading away, leaving the image of him – alone. In his heart, he felt things when he was with Chen he’d never felt with another human – ever – powerful, amazing, feelings – feelings of wanting to open up totally, and let Chen completely enter him, body and soul – become one with him – but he was scared – so deeply scared – he’d been so terribly hurt by others he thought he loved and trusted – and fear had built some very strong walls inside Mike.
‘Penny for your thoughts’ – Mike whirled around to look at the entry to the kitchen from the hallway – there stood Chen, smiling as always, arms folded across his chest – totally naked, leaning against the door frame, towel around his neck. His body glistened like a wet marble statue – perfect muscle definition, jet black hair shining in the light, and those perfect almond shaped eyes – sparkling, dancing, so full of life – Mike scanned down Chen’s body – just as he’d seen it before, only more beautiful in the warm kitchen light, with small droplets of water all over him, like dew on the perfect flower in the morning - perfectly muscled chest, abdomen, nice inguinal V pointing to his wet, shining black pubic hair perched above a well formed, uncut, darker colored penis and large, hairless scrotum – low hanging from the warm shower water – clearly outlining two egg sized testicles suspended within – as Chen stood there, his scrotum was starting to contract, and its movements were clearly visible – the testicles within moving and rolling about as it pulled back up, the wrinkles in its surface rippling and moving – causing Chen’s penis to start to lift as his scrotum pulled itself up tighter beneath it. Mike was entranced watching Chen’s scrotum retraction taking place.
‘MIKE – I don’t talk through my penis – my face is up here – what’s on your mind man?? You’re off in some other world tonight – what’s up??’ Chen had a concerned look – not an angry or upset look, clearly a concerned look, on his face.
‘I – I – was just – was wondering where you wanted to go for dinner tonight’ Mike said, as he looked out the window into the yard.
Chen replied ‘well – I don’t think your eyes were looking for a place for dinner just then, but OK – if you say so – ‘
Mike looked back at Chen – this time looking him in the eyes – those amazing eyes – it was like looking into another world – one of peace, serenity, calm – all things Mike had known so little of – they were so disarming to look into – Chen just looked back, as if wanting to get through Mike’s defenses without breaking them down – they looked at each other – then Chen said ‘guess I ought to get dressed – we’re not going to go far from the house with me like this!’
As he turned to go back to the bedroom, from somewhere deep inside, Mike said ‘No – no – don’t go – not just yet’
Chen turned back – Mike was looking at the floor – Mike said ‘I – I – really don’t know what to do – I have something I want to – to – to say, I guess – but I don’t know – don’t want to – don’t want what we’ve got going here to end – and I’m scared – really, really scared’ – he looked away, out into the yard, feeling his heart racing, his mind reeling – what had he just done?
Chen said ‘Mike – Mike – nothing you say will cause me to do anything to hurt you – ever’
Mike stammered, and said ‘I – you – I’ve got – want to – well, I’ve been feeling some things – very strong things – but I’m so afraid to – afraid of – what they are – and I’m afraid – well – of scaring – losing – ruining what we have’ – he dropped his head and looked at the floor again, afraid to see the look on Chen’s face – so terribly afraid he’d just screwed everything up, and Chen was going to tell him to leave – as had others in the past.
Without a sound, Chen quietly padded up to Mike, put a finger under his chin, tilted Mike’s head up, said ‘Mike – look at me’ - then said softly ‘maybe it’s time for me to also share what I’ve been feeling’ – Chen leaned in, tilted his head, closed his eyes, and ever so softly pressed his lips to Mike’s – and gently placed his hands on each side of Mike’s head, holding them together in a soft, tender kiss.
Mike’s chest began to heave with heavy sobs – he looked Chen directly in the eyes as his flooded with tears, exclaimed ‘oh Chen!’ – threw his arms around Chen, buried his head against Chen’s neck, and began crying like a child – releasing a tidal wave of pent up emotions – the dam had been broken – his soul was finally free – and this man – this gorgeous, wonderful man – was the one who had done it. Mike’s legs were spread apart as he sat on the bar stool, and Chen stepped in between them to get closer to Mike, holding him ever tighter - rubbing his back with his hands, cooing softly in his ear ‘it’s OK Mike – it’s OK – you’re safe – you’re safe here with me’
After a few moments, Mike’s tears began to subside – Chen pulled back slightly, again put a finger under Mike’s chin, lifted his face, and looked into his eyes. ‘I’ve known for some time that you’ve had strong feelings toward me – and were so very scared about showing them. I’ve seen how you look at me when you thought I didn’t notice – and to be honest, Mike, you’re not that good at being subtle’ – Mike chuckled, and Chen smiled – ‘Mike, look at me – really look at me’ – Mike lifted his eyes, and looked deeply into Chen’s eyes – they were intense, but open – small trickles of tears were coming from them – it was like looking into the deepest parts of his soul – an entire universe was in there, showing itself to Mike. Mike was a bit in awe – and said nothing, just looked.
Chen said ‘Mike – I knew from the things you’ve told me that you had a very hard time emotionally in your earlier life – and that you had some really strong conflicts going inside – so I knew I had to wait for when it was right for you – when you were ready to let yourself out and be free – then I could tell you how I feel’ – Chen reached down, lifted Mike’s hands (they had dropped away from Chen’s waist), put them on each of his bare buttocks as he stood between Mike’s legs, and said ‘Mike – I think I know what’s inside you – because it’s inside me too – Mike – I love you’.
Once again tears began to flood from Mike’s eyes – but these were not tears of fear, or pain, or anxiety – these were tears of pure joy. Mike embraced Chen in a tight hug, and Chen embraced back – and from those gorgeous, deep brown almond eyes, tears also began to flow.
After a moment, Mike began to relax his embrace, and pull back slightly, looking into Chen’s eyes – this time, he saw something else in them – warmth, happiness, maybe a bit if mischief? – he reached around Chen’s head, pulling their lips together in a passionate, deep kiss – as the kiss continued and intensified, Mike again reached around Chen’s bare butt cheeks, squeezing and fondling them. Chen pulled his hips back slightly – his penis was becoming erect – Mike, sensing the movement, took one of Chen’s hands, and placed it on his crotch – Chen squeezed gently, and felt Mike’s erection straining for release against the fabric of his clothing. Chen silently pulled out of the kiss, smiled, nodded his head toward the bedroom – Mike softly smiled and nodded yes – hand in hand, Chen first, Mike following, they headed into the master bedroom and closed the door.
Mike’s heart was on fire – white hot, incandescent, his desire for Chen was finally unbridled and free – every part of him burned with desire – once in the bedroom, Mike put his hand on Chen’s shoulder and tugged to turn Chen around to face him – Chen turned, and before he could even react, Mike pulled his body tight to his, and began a passionate, full mouth kiss – squeezing and massaging Chen’s bare buttocks and lower back, and grinding his hips against Chen’s erect, drooling penis. Chen returned the kiss by pressing even harder, open mouthed, tonguing Mike’s mouth, as Mike worked his tongue in Chen’s mouth – Chen quickly began working on Mike’s belt and zipper, and soon was giving them a quick tug – they fell to the floor, and Mike stepped out of them, as well as his sandals. Mike reached for the hem of his shirt, pulled it over his head in one quick, smooth motion and threw it onto the floor. Both naked, they pressed their throbbing erections against each other, rubbing them against each other’s abdomens.
Mike pulled back for just a moment to look down – he and Chen’s penises were side by side, rubbing slightly up and down. Chen’s penis was thick and well proportioned, standing nearly tight to his belly, and pulsing with his every heartbeat - his shaft skin was noticeably darker than Mike’s – and darker than Chen’s body skin – making it stand out from the rest of him. His scrotum, now pulled up tight and heavily wrinkled, was even darker and very full – a medium nut brown – giving it a nice contrast. His glans, fully engorged and fully exposed from under his foreskin, was a dark purplish pink, stretched tight so the skin was smooth and shiny – the slit slightly pulled open by the pressure of the blood inside – the portion of his penile skin normally under the foreskin was bright pink – giving the full appearance that Chen had a collar around his penis. Mike’s was not quite so thick, but every bit as hard and visibly throbbing – Mike had a longer foreskin, and it wasn’t fully retracted – his glans, exposed just about halfway, was deep purplish/pink, very smooth, obviously stretched very full as the skin was tight, shiny, and glistening with pre-cum – it oozed from Mike’s slit in little dribbles. They both looked down as Mike pushed his groin against Chen’s a little tighter, and began rocking his hips up and down – making both their foreskins roll on and off their cockheads. Chen put his head back, and softly hissed through his teeth –oh Mike – I’ve wanted to have us do this for so long’
Mike leaned forward and whispered into Chen’s ear ‘make love to me, Chen – make me become one with you.’ Between nibbles at Mike’s earlobe, Chen said ‘follow me’ – and he tugged Mike toward the bed. He motioned for Mike to lay down first, and once down, Chen crawled up over Mike – first tonguing and nibbling at Mike’s toes – then his legs, behind his knees – then, at his crotch, began tonguing Mike’s loose, low hanging scrotum and testicles – first sniffing them, inhaling Mike’s musk – then lightly tonguing his ball sac, rolling his balls around – tonguing his perineum, then taking first one ball, then the other, in his mouth and gently sucking on it and rolling it around – tonguing the base of his penis, first with just the tip of his tongue – lightly tickling it – then with the flat, licking it full – working his way up the shaft – Mike groaning in ecstasy – Chen tonguing Mike’s frenulum, his under foreskin, inhaling Mike’s cheesy scent – licking and tickling his glans – tonguing his slit – then taking Mike’s member into his mouth fully – licking, sucking, stroking – Mike was writhing and moaning as Chen performed – then Chen began to turn his body slowly, working around so finally his crotch was directly over Mike’s head – Mike, not missing the cue, immediately took Chen’s throbbing, pulsing cock into his mouth – relishing the taste of his manhood – licking his glans clean of his smegma, then sucking his cock fully into his mouth, working his tongue into the skin folds, swirling it around on Chen’s glans and tickling his piss slit, while Chen slowly stroked his cock in and out of Mike’s eager mouth.
Chen stopped for just a moment, patted Mike on the side of his butt, and said softly ‘let’s lay on our sides’ – with little lost motion, the two quickly laid on their sides, face to crotch, and were back at it. Now, Mike could also move his head and stroke Chen’s substantial cock with his mouth while tonguing his glans and frenulum – and Chen was doing the same.
Within minutes, Mike began to moan heavily – he could feel an orgasm like he’d never felt before, approaching quickly – intense, amazing sensations rocketing through his groin – his cock engorging even harder, feeling like it was going to explode – glans alive and so sensitive every tonguing from Chen brought on sensations he’d never ever felt – then, it hit –
Mike thrust his hips forward hard against Chen’s face – his cock was on fire, and began twitching and throbbing like a thing possessed – fiery hot streams of semen began flooding through his penis, jetting from his cock into Chen’s mouth, as his cock pulsed and twitched like it had a life of its own – wave after wave of orgasmic sensations washed over Mike’s body, as his penis continued to shoot great jets of his voluminous cum – Chen moaning in pleasure as he slurped and sucked down every drop. Mike had never, ever had a climax like this – the ejaculations continued one after the other – each one causing him to involuntarily twitch his hips forward, and Chen eagerly receiving each of his deep thrusts and the spurting cum that came with each one.
Mike, who had not stopped working on Chen’s member, suddenly sensed that Chen’s cock had become harder, and hotter – and his glans ridge had flared, as the glans swelled up even firmer – Chen was now moaning himself, and working his cock in and out of Mike’s eager mouth – Mike began to tongue and work his lips around Chen’s cock faster – then Chen shoved his cock deep into Mike’s throat – Mike eagerly sucked hard, and began tonguing the top and sides of Chen’s glans – Chen moaned a deep moan even while still sucking on Mike’s softening cock – then suddenly, Chen’s cock was twitching hard inside Mike’s mouth – and Mike’s tongue was awash with Chen’s hot, spurting cum, jetting rapidly from his penis into Mike’s throat – Mike began sucking it down, as Chen’s cock continued to spurt long, steamy, sticky streamers of his essence into Mike. Mike continued to suck and tongue Chen’s cock as its discharge slowed, all the while using his free hands to massage and fondle Chen’s buttocks.
After a moment, Chen let Mike’s softening penis out of his mouth – then gave Mike a kiss on the groin right above where his penis met his belly, squeezing his butt at the same time, and nuzzling Mike’s ball sac with the end of his nose. Mike giggled, released Chen’s cock, playfully tongued his balls, and said ‘that was amazing – I’ve never ever felt like that’
Chen got up on his hands and knees, turned around, came up to Mike, and laid down facing him – he had a look on his face that Mike had never seen – a look of deepest peace, openness, quiet calm – and his amazing smile – his eyes were ablaze with life – and dancing with the light of his soul.
Chen said ‘I wish you could see your face – you have the most amazing look’ – Mike didn’t have to see himself – he could feel it inside – everything in him was like it was singing with joy – finally, finally free – free to be Mike – his face beamed with happiness, his eyes were alight with life – he put his hand behind Chen’s head, gently pulled their faces together, and gave Chen a long, loving kiss – they shared the semen left in their mouths with each other, then pulled back, and Mike said ‘I never thought I’d ever be able to feel this way – ever – and now – oh Chen, I love you so much!’
Mike embraced Chen tightly, and Chen returned the hug, pulling their bodies tightly together – not sexually, but lovingly – Mike said ‘I almost wish we didn’t have these bodies between us – I so want my soul to become entwined with yours – us to become one – I’ve never ever wanted to be this close to anyone – I was always afraid – scared of – well – of – getting hurt’ – Chen put a finger over Mike’s lips and said ‘say no more lover – nothing of our life – nothing of me – will ever hurt you’
Mike took a moment to absorb the words – ‘nothing of OUR life’ – he’d really heard that – OUR life – he hugged Chen again, simply saying ‘oh Chen’ – Chen then slapped Mike on the butt, and said ‘hey – remember – you were going to treat me to dinner tonight – I’m hungry – let’s go!’
Mike laughed, rolled out of bed, and said ‘pick your place, lover – whatever’s open this late, now that the evening’s gone! – and oh – if I’m buying, you’re driving!’
Chen replied ‘let’s go to Hank’s Place – I could use a good burger and a beer’ Mike replied ‘you’re on – let’s go!’ The two got quickly dressed, and headed out the door. Mike was the last out – without hesitation, he reached into his pocket, pulled out his keys, and put Chen’s key into the lock, turning it until he heard the firm ‘click’ – he tested the door, then just stood for a moment, looking at the key – no longer just a key – it was a symbol of a link to a new life – and now, after this momentous evening, they were going back to the very place where they first truly met – and it all started.
At dinner, just as they had several months ago, the talk flowed freely – but now, Mike’s conversation was more about looking forward, not back at his past. Mike and Chen talked about cooking, housework, music, what TV shows they liked to watch – who liked doing yard work, laundry, taking out the trash – and Mike was clearly engaged, present, and totally involved – Chen would occasionally throw a barb at Mike about his past hangups – and Mike, without hesitation, was returning them like a tennis pro returns a volley – with a wry smile as added zing to the return. Chen would laugh, then return to chatting. They were like two old friends – knowing each other completely, trusting each other completely – sharing with each other completely.
Chen suddenly got serious, and abruptly asked Mike ‘so – when do you want to move out of your apartment and in with me?’ Mike was stopped in his tracks – his jaw opened – but deep inside, instead of fear, he felt like someone – something – was hugging his very heart – he stammered, ‘well – I – I – we – I guess – REALLY????’ Chen laughed, and said ‘of course silly – you almost live with me now – all you use your apartment for is a place to have your bills mailed to, and a phone number your parents can call without knowing you’re not only gay, but living with another man!’
Mike smiled – ‘ya know – for the first time, ever – I don’t give one good damn what anyone thinks about who I am or where I live or who I love – all I care about is us’ – he reached across the table, in a bar full of people, and took Chen’s hand and squeezed it. Chen squeezed back, smiled, and said ‘wonderful, isn’t it?’ - then said ‘let’s go home, lover’ – they paid the tab, slid out of the booth, and headed for the car.
As Chen put the car back in the garage, Mike unlocked the door and turned on the lights. Over the past several months, he’d come through this door many times – but this time – this night – it was like entering a brand new world. No longer was this Chen’s house, and he was just a visitor – this was their house – their home.
Once inside the house, Chen turned on the few lights needed to get them to the bedroom without tripping over something. The soft warm side lights of the bedroom came on as Mike came into the room – Chen opened his arms, smiled, and Mike walked right into them – they hugged, then kissed – not a pre-sexual kiss – a deep, loving kiss. Mike rested his chin on Chen’s shoulders, and said ‘I don’t want this to ever end’ – Chen said ‘why does it have to, lover? – other than if we stand here too long, our legs will go to sleep and we’ll fall over!’ Mike began to giggle, and pulled back to look at Chen – he had his broad, mischievous grin – and said ‘it’s late my gorgeous man – let’s get to bed’ With that, they quietly disrobed, slipped into bed, and rolled to face each other – hugging and kissing, and just looking at each other. Mike said ‘Chen – I’ve never felt like I feel with you – ever – it’s – it’s like there’s something much more here – much more’
With that, Chen pulled back just slightly – looking deeply into Mike’s eyes, he took Mike’s hand, and placed it over his heart – then put his hand on Mike’s chest, over Mike’s heart – and said ‘feel for a minute – don’t say anything – just feel – close your eyes and feel me under your hand, and feel where I touch you’ – Mike closed his eyes, and let all his senses focus on his hand – at first, all he felt was Chen’s strong, rhythmic heartbeat and his breathing – but as they laid there, Mike began to feel – softly, slowly at first – a warmth – a presence. The sensation grew – and he noticed he was feeling it where Chen was touching him as well – a spreading warmth, and a sense of connection – not quite a tingling – not electric – a spreading, comforting warmth – but something deeper – like where they touched, connections – deep connections – were forming. The warmth spread – then intensified – then began spreading all over his body – as though Chen and he were melding through their hands into one being – he could feel the deep serenity – the overwhelming calm – the internal peace – finally, the peace.
Chen spoke – ‘Mike – look at me’ – Mike opened his eyes, and looked into Chen’s – Chen’s face was now serene, but also intense – his eyes looked like twin windows peering out into deepest space, full of billions of stars, with all of eternity beyond.
‘Do you feel the connection?’ Chen asked. Mike nodded in the affirmative. Chen looked into Mike’s eyes intently, and said ‘I’ve been looking all my life for the one – the only one – with whom I wanted to share my soul – I knew it was you from the moment we met – but I also knew I had to wait for you to be ready – my grandfather in China, when I visited him as a young boy, taught me this – what we are doing now – before he passed on, we did this – and he shared his soul with mine – gave me a part of him, forever – and through him, I realized how important it is to be sure – to be certain – of whom one shares their very being with – I have felt who you are – I know who you are – my soul is waiting to become shared with yours – but unless you want the same, unless you feel as I do, unless you want to fully open yourself completely – we need to stop here – or it will not work – Mike – tell me with your eyes’
There were absolutely no questions in Mike’s heart – his eyes looked deeply into Chen’s – and began to fill with tears of such intense joy, he couldn’t see – Chen smiled a broad smile – and he as well began to shed tears – then he put his forehead against Mike’s, closed his eyes, pressed his hand a bit firmer against Mike’s chest, and said ‘open your heart and become the keeper of my very soul, as I open my heart to receive yours’
Suddenly, Mike felt amazing sensations – an intense, flushing heat, spreading from Chen’s hand over his heart – as though his entire body was becoming quite warm – a soft, sensuous tingling followed – growing, spreading from Chen’s hand, to every part of his body – and in his chest, right at his very heart – a deep, powerful sensation he couldn’t describe – and something different – his heartbeat – stronger – changing - and – and – yes, he could feel it - in his chest, and in his hand that rested over Chen’s heart – his heart and Chen’s were beating together – perfectly together – in lockstep rhythm – two hearts beating as one – Mike had closed his eyes when Chen closed his – now he opened his, and at precisely the same time, Chen’s eyelids were rising – as they gazed at each other, the radiating warmth flooded all over Mike – now it was also coming from Chen’s eyes, into his, spreading from his face into his head – into his thoughts – the warmth of finally being alive, not just living – the warmth of two souls entwined in complete spiritual embrace.
After a moment, Chen started slowly pulling his hand back from Mike’s chest – first lifting just the palm, leaving the fingers applying pressure – then gently, slowly relaxing his fingers until they were just barely detectable on Mike’s skin – then they were gone – but the warmth, the soft tingling, remained – slowly subsiding into a soft, diffuse sense of quiet.
Chen said ‘Mike – my forever love – now we are conjoined by our souls – I am not yours – neither are you mine – we are one in spirit – one in our love – one soul – one life’ Mike was speechless – his heart, still beating strongly – still suffused with warmth and feelings he’d never felt before – somehow knew the words Chen had just said as though they’d been planted in him a million years ago, and were just awaiting the right person to bring them to the surface.
Mike said ‘you have opened up the most amazing and wonderful things in me – things I never knew I could feel – feelings and emotions I just dreamed of, and never ever thought even existed – and now, they’re in me – because of you – and you’re here – right next to me – wanting me – us – to be together – I feel like I’m in the presence of something so beyond me – I don’t know what to say’
Chen just looked deeply into Mike’s eyes – put a finger over his lips – and said ‘say nothing - just feel me becoming a part of you – as you are becoming a part of me – and drift off to sleep, next to me – with me – together’
Mike felt such an amazing sense of quiet and calm settle over him – he put an arm around Chen, and snuggled close, still looking into his amazing eyes – Chen put his arm around Mike, pulled him closer, and held him warmly – softly – and said ‘good night, my one and only’ – Mike, still beyond words, just smiled – closed his eyes – and they drifted into sleep.