sexstories.com
Comments from Broken_Mirrors
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-06-13 07:54:48 | Just What the Doctor Ordered | Don't let these philistines disgrace your work. This had a good theme to it, a clever little plan, but it got muddled badly by the format. If you'd thrown some double spacing or some *** in there to break up when the perspective changed, it would be less confusing. On the other hand, that would also kill some of the really clever bits, like when she hears him speak a sentence, and then it dives into his head just as he's finishing it. Touches like that you don't see too often in a porn story, and it rose it above the level of mere spank fiction. Then again, maybe that's the problem some people are having, too much thinking involved in the story. These are the kind of people who can't walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone read and jerk off. |